Potatoes in the Toilet

Liger117

Shared on Tue, 03/07/2006 - 13:14
For those of you who know me, you probably know about the potato incident, but it is well worth repeating for those who haven’t heard it. So here it is…


The Call

Last Tuesday I was away in Washington, D.C. on business when I get a call from my wife telling me the toilet was clogged. (By the way, we only have one bathroom.)

 She proceeded to tell me she flushed a stew down the toilet and the potatoes clogged it up. Furthermore, she tried to plunge it and snake it. She also tried to get a plumber, but the plumber could not get one to come over because they were all busy unfreezing pipes.

I asked her, “Why didn’t you just throw the stew in the garbage?”

“I don’t know,” was her answer.

Since I know my wife is completely incompetent with a plunger, I didn’t think too much of it and thought to myself I could make her suffer for a few days so she would learn her lesson. I told her I would be home on Wednesday and I would take care of it.


The Arrival

So, I arrive home late Wednesday night and peer into the toilet.

Me- “You took a shit in the toilet after you clogged it?”

Her- “I had to go!”

Me- “You never have to shit.”

Her- “I know.”

Me- “Grrrrrrr…”


The Clog

So, I get the plunger and the snake out and it isn’t working. I decided to talk to the janitor at work to hear his thoughts. He suggested going to DT Supply and picking up some heavy duty chemicals. Sounded good to me. I could get the clog out and not have to dig around in shit anymore. Good deal, unclog the toilet, screw the environment. So, I forget to pick the stuff that day and I had to get it on Friday. I go home after work and dump this stuff in. Nothing happens.


The Fake Plumber

So, after waiting overnight for the wonder chemical to do its job, it worked a little but still solids wouldn’t flush. I broke down and started calling plumbers on a Saturday. We finally got in touch with one and he said he would be over in 45 minutes (which meant 3 hours to him). So about an hour after I talked to the plumber, my wife tells me the plumber went to our neighbor’s house by accident. So, I wave to the guy and he pulls into the driveway and I go to talk to him.

Him- "Whats going on?"
Me- “Nothing much. Just got a clogged toilet”

Him- “Well, what are you going to do?”

At this point I thought to myself, either this guy is the worst plumber in the world, or he’s not the plumber. So, the guy keeps talking to me like he knows me and I have no idea who this guy is. My wife sees this and thinks I’m telling him to leave, so she comes busting out of the house saying,”Make sure he comes inside.”

I’m still trying to figure out how I’m going to get out of this conversation without letting the guy know I think he’s the plumber just in case I really did know him. So, my wife comes running over to the truck and I slug her on the shoulder and say, “He’s not the plumber.” Under my breath.

Finally, the guy wraps up his one way conversation and says he’s going to get some coffee. The fake plumber goes away.


The Real Plumber

Finally, the real plumber came and couldn’t get it unclogged. He said he was going to have to come back in 10 minutes with something else. Two hours later, he comes back with a gallon jug of hydrochloric acid. He proceeds to pour the entire jug in the toilet and then read the directions. He asks me, “Do you think that was a pint?”

Then he tells me he has to go on another call and would come back in a half hour to see how it worked out. Three hours later, he came back to find it didn’t work. He tried snaking it again with no luck. So, I stopped him and said I would just get a new toilet because it would be cheaper than to have him keep working on it. So, I went to Home Depot and picked up a new toilet and by 10:30pm on Saturday night I was crapping on a new throne.


Total cost for the plumbing incident: $320, a little pride and almost a week with no toilet.

Artists rendition of the incident: http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e5/kevtek17/liger.jpg http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e5/kevtek17/freestew.jpg

Pictures courtesy of kevtek17

Comments

kevtek17's picture
Submitted by kevtek17 on Tue, 03/07/2006 - 10:56
Liger, the fake plumber part is the icing on the cake.  The lesson learned from this story??? Dont eat the stew at Ligers house.
KingDrewsky's picture
Submitted by KingDrewsky on Tue, 03/07/2006 - 11:47
I must admit that this story confounds me.  -dont you have a garbage disposal?-the fact that your wife seldom poops is a reason to allow the problem to stew for a few days before doing anything?-what did the fake plumber think when your wife said, "make sure he comes inside."?-couldnt you just have disassembled the toilet and cleaned it out? -your wife never poops?-a week with no toilet?-who was that fake plumber?-how did you sleep at night with the poop smell eminating from the toilet?-???
Liger117's picture
Submitted by Liger117 on Tue, 03/07/2006 - 11:54
All good questions my friend. I will try to answer.I do have a garbage disposal, his name is Buddy, but he was not utilized.I too wonder what the fake plumber thought when she said this, but he didnt seem to pay much attention to it.I tried to clean the toilet out once I removed it, but coiuldnt get anything through it. It was truly clogged.Yes, my wife rarely poops. We managed to poo at work for the most part.I have no idea who the fake pluber was.I didnt sleep very well.
doodirock's picture
Submitted by doodirock on Tue, 03/07/2006 - 13:06
Um. Ah. Hmm.  So.  Yeah.  Wow.....
Avril's picture
Submitted by Avril on Tue, 03/07/2006 - 23:50
Wrong on so many levels....but funny as hell!
HeReCoMeSdAbOoM's picture
Submitted by HeReCoMeSdAbOoM on Wed, 03/08/2006 - 10:52
Too F! funny! Thanks for sharing.Best part:Me- “You took a shit in the toilet after you clogged it?”Her- “I had to go!”Me- “You never have to shit.”Commence Diet Coke launch from nose.
LaudTrevlin's picture
Submitted by LaudTrevlin on Fri, 04/07/2006 - 15:56
First of all....this is the first i have heard of the potatoes, second of all...i think i shit myself while laughing too heartily and quite out of decent control...third, i assume your wife isnt on the site?!?!?!?!?!

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