The Fourth of July means something different to most Americans. Some of us park our arses in front of the tube and watch westerns or war movies all day. Others load the kids up and head to the beach for some barbeque, boats, and a bag of M-80s. To others, it means a Thursday morning hangover. For gamers like us, it’s a chance to get out of the sun for some uninterrupted game time. For those of us playing it safe indoors, 2old2play offers a short list of suggestions to keep your holiday game time in a patriotic theme. So here's our list in no particular order thanks to two of our 2old2play Writers, Sarcasmo Jones and TwizdFred.
Top Picks from Sarcasmo Jones
Duke Nukem Forever
Duke Nukem Forever is not the greatest game ever made, but no red-blooded American can deny Duke’s patriotism. Duke is a college football hero, ex-military, and All-American alien ass kicker. His vehicle of choice is his monster truck, The Mighty Foot. He has his own pinball machine, gains experience from perusing porn, and dreams of owning a topless bar. Hail to the King, baby.
Medal of Honor
War movies are for old people...older than us, I mean. Blow the dust off of the old XBox, or Playstation, and play the original Medal of Honor. Storm Normandy Beach and kill the Third Reich single-handedly. Pretending the Nazis are Redcoats will give it that ol’ Revolutionary War feel. Wear a powdered wig while playing and insist that everyone in the house refer to you as “GW” to give your patriotic game immersion that “over the top” kick.
Splinter Cell Series
Take your pick from any game in the series, Sam Fisher does what Americans do best: killing people in foreign countries. Sam is incorruptible, competent, and takes absolutely zero shit from anyone. Take a tequila shot every time Sam says the name “Grimm” to improve your chances of getting sent home from work early on Thursday. Sony fans can substitute Sam for Solid Snake, and tequila for milk.
Red Dead Revolver
The old west is unmistakably American, and there’s nothing more American than a game based on western movies filmed in Italy. Why not celebrate Independence Day by hashing up some six-shooter action and a good old western manhunt. Wear a cowboy hat and change your gamertag to “Tex” to show folks that you’re a patriot to be reckoned with.
Midnight Club L.A.
Americans have always had a love affair with their cars and movie stars. It is only natural to assume that a street-racing game set in Los Angeles would be the ultimate American experience. Push dumpsters onto the drag strip on Pico to start your own gang war. Buy a Riviera and paint it up with an Old Glory livery while humming the national anthem. Berate players who neglect to stop racing and sing along. Play while wearing a Superman costume, because nothing is more American than an alien from the planet Krypton. Truth, justice, and the American way, baby.
Top Series Picks from TwizdFred
Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter Series
This game immerses you in the fight, making you the squad leader, directing your squad to protect the US from local and foreign enemies.
Metal Gear Solid Series
What could be more patriotic then playing as Solid Snake, going on secret missions to protect America from many different enemies.
Now you can play as one of America’s most revered Spec Ops members. With all the games that are in the series, you have many options at protecting the US.
Fighting for the survival of the human race, that takes pride in your country, not to mention that it is based in California.
I think that this is about as patriotic as you can get for a game. Playing as Master Chief, protecting not only the planet but the galaxies as well.
From all of us at 2old2play, we hope you have a fun (and safe) 4th of July!