New Releases: Week of March 14, 2016

  I hate the time change: we get the short end of the weekend stick every Spring and it's completely unnecessary. I don't care what time the sun sets or rises, just quit jacking with my watch. This week a racing icon flops its way onto the PC, Codemasters holds its breath, the Japanese come out swinging...their tits, the retro movement is still trying to find a foothold in our hearts, Rousey fight Bruce Lee, and Marvel meets Infinity!

EA Sports UFC 2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m97UWd2QuAI

Platforms: XB1, PS4

Release Date: March 15

 With Conor McGregor and Rhonda Rousey on the cover it must be good. Players can expect complicated controller moves, intelligent AI, and recognizable opponents from the UFC world. They can also expect that EA has interfered with this title in some way to make it both less fun and more expensive than it should be. There's also a rumor that Bruce Lee might be in the game, if that helps with your decision.

Marvel Battlegrounds

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZd8KRVOVhA

Platforms: XB1, 360, PS4, PS3, WiiU, PC

Release Date: March 15

 The most expensive video game on the planet is about to get more expensive. This Marvel playset contains a handful of Avengers and Guardians of the Galaxy characters, as well as Venom and Ant Man. Good luck convincing the kids that they don't need this one.

Need For Speed

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVA63k_DPNg

Platform: PC

Release Date: March 15

 This console port promises free updates, peripheral support, and manual transmission as an option. Too bad it's the same shitty waste of a Porsche license that EA sold console racers last year.

Salt and Sanctuary

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8wAY6Tp2Xc

Platforms: PS4, Vita, PC

Release Date: March 15

This is a single player only side-scrolling dungeon crawler from the studio that brought us Charlie Murder. It looks like this one is going to pass over Nintendo and MS gamers, but it may be worth a look if you have a PC or a current gen Sony console.

Samurai Warriors 4: Empires

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOJ8KWYxXMw

Platforms: PS4, PS3, Vita

Release Date: March 15

 Huge swords, impossible hairstyles, and a flashy, epileptic seizure-inducing battle sequences: yep, it's from Japan. Yep, it's for the Sony crowd. Nope, I'm not going to play it.

Sebastien Loeb Rally Evo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPBFUMm8jIA

Platforms: XB1, PS4, PC

Release Date: March 15

There's a new off-roader in town, amigo. Does it have the machismo to do what Jeremy McGrath couldn't do: take down Codemasters and their Dirt dominance of the rally circuit? This game was supposed to drop at the end of January, so I'm tentatively penciling this one as a Tuesday release.

Senran Kagura: Estival Versus

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b00vUM5jqJY

Platforms: PS4, Vita

Release Date: March 15

 Have you ever wished for more tit action in your fighting game? Japan got you covered, bro. Hopefully Amazon will ship this in a plain brown box so the neighbors won't know your dirty little secret.

World's Fastest Pizza

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yp6_mTc65TE

Platform: PC

Release Date: March 15

 This is a top-down destruction fest for the PC Master Race. If the game is as much fun as the trailer, I may have to give this one a shot.

Dungeon of the Endless

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_OAL_O_Ccc

Platform: XB1

Release Date: March 16

 This troubled PC port is making its way to the XB1 on Wednesday: it's been out since 2014 on the PC. It's labeled as a "rogue-like dungeon defense game" with retro-styled 2-D graphics and presentation, but it looks like a cell phone game to me. I would read a few PC reviews before throwing money at this Amplitude Studio creation.

 

 

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