100 Reasons to go to the LAN v2.0

You have needs. Lots of them. Some of them you might not even be aware of. This week's edition of the "Top 10 Reasons to Attend the Chicago LAN" will tell you about some of the needs you can fulfill by getting your sweaty ass down to Chicago on August 6th.

1. You need a fucking vacation. You're stressed because you're unemployed or you're stressed because all the people that used to do your work are unemployed and you're working 80 hours a week. Get to Chicago. Drown your sorrows and stress.

2. You need some gamerpoints. Yeah you. The guy with 2000 points to his name even though you were a launch-day Xbox 360 buyer. Still no mile high achievement for you? Still not a pacifist? Someone with better skills can help. They're in Chicago.

3. You need to meet the man with perfect teeth that busts controllers. His name is Soup.

4. You need to hear Taxi to believe it. Full Volume. He's like a live Who concert.

5. LB says you need to pee your pants a little when you laugh too hard from all the fun. The rest of the Press and Writers Corp. doesn't do this. But maybe we'll give it a try this year.

6. You need to see Ken/Gaara blush when he wins the giant dildo, AGAIN!

7. You need real Chicago pizza. Okay...maybe your wide ass doesn't actually need this. But it tastes good anyway, and you do want it. Don't you? 

8. You need to stealth ninja bear-hug your clan mate. (Okay, who the fuck wrote that? Had to be LB)

9. You need to start living inside the inside jokes that are born in the LAN. Don't be an outsider.

10. You need a tax deduction stat! Lessen your burden to Uncle Sam by participating in an event that will help a worthy cause like www.childsplaycharity.org

Register to get your ticket HERE. Right now before the cost goes up!

And - if you have not noticed the front page, the LAN T-Shirt Contest is going. You don't need skillz, even LB's boobie-stick-figure-party commanded mad votes last year. Bust out your creativity and become famous!