blogging test

Ok Ok, I know what your saying another "blog test" bla bla bla. Well this is the first time I've ever done this so I'm going to keep the story short just so I can figure this thing out.

  So last night, my thirteen year old daughter comes out of her bedroom around 9-9:30pm to get batteries for her flash light. This is my daughter who never sleeps. She didn't sleep for the first 2 years of her life and still tries to avoid it and often has to be told several times to put down her book and go to sleep. So she heads out to the garage to the old cupboard where we keep the batteries. She comes back in and anounces that she smells dead fish in the garage. My wife looks at me and asks me to go check it out. Well my nose doesn't work that well to begin with. I can smell certain foods really well, some flowers ok, I can tell when someone has been drinking, bad BO or bad breath, thats about it. My wife on the other hand has a extremely sensative sense of smell. She can smell anything. She is so sensative that she often gets over whelmed by oders and will become physically ill. Because of this I get the pleasure of doing some of the dirtiest, nastiest jobs around our house.  So I go out to the garage and I can't smell anything out of the ordinary, it smells like a garage and I don't see anything out of the ordinary. So back into the house I go and report that I don't smell anything. My daughter who just can't believe my incompetance, (did I mention she's 13?) asks my wife to go check it out because obviously I'm too stupid for words. She directs my wife to the cabinet where the batteries are. My wife heads over there and gets a look on her face. "I think there is a dead rat or something over here." So my daughter goes over to the spot and shines her light under the cabinet and sees a dead mouse a really dead mouse. "Hah! I told  you there was something dead dad! Jeeze! " At this point my wife comes over and sees the mouse and promptly says "Ew, Honey, can you please clean that up?"  Sure I can, whats a dead mouse to me? So now I get my own flash light and look under the cabinet and I don't see one dead mouse, I see four freaking dead mice! WTF! I know we put out poison, but this is rediculous! And they are all in the same place. Well at least they thought of my convenience before they died. I can see them having a mousy meeting during their last hours, "Lets make it easy on the poor guy. I mean after all he's the one who has to clean us up after we're gone and he probably wont even be able to smell us." Just so we are clear here, these mice arent just dead, they are way dead, so dead infact that a couple of them have small puddles of goo around them ewwwww! mouse goo! So I get two plastic grocery bags (after making sure there are no holes in them) and use one of them for a glove and the other as the recepticle. So I grab the closest one first, no problem, he comes quietly, not too gross. I then proceed to get the next closest. Thats when I noticed a trail of something wriggling on the floor in a trail from the 2nd mouse. I point my flashlight down and see... MAGGOTS! not just any maggots but some of the biggest nastiest maggots I've ever seen! Great! Now I go get the dustbuster and start cleaning up the plump, wiggling spawn of evil. At this time my wife and daughter (remember them?) ask what are you doing. "Oh just cleaning up some left overs from some of the mice." You really don't want to come over here, in fact do we have a spray bottle with bleach in it? I'm going to need it after I done (for myself). So now I look under the cabinet again and start going for the next dead, rotting carcass and I notice its moving, sort of like those horror movies when some demon spawn is trying to break out of some poor unsuspecting human's body. Great, this is getting better by the second. So I grab number three and he bascally falls apart in my hand, spilling about a million maggots all over the place. nice. I was just having a glass of wine with my wife just a short 10 mins ago and now I'm swimming in maggots. So to make a long story short, (I know I know) after mouse #4, I found 2 more hiding! The the grand total loss for the night was 6 mice, an unfathomable amount of maggots, one of my younger daughter's doll dresses (one of the mice used it for a death shroud), and approx 1/2 spray bottle of bleach. 

    At this point I thanked my daughter for finding the offending carcasses, gave her a kiss, told her to go to bed and that if her flashlight runs out of batteries again, to please read in the dark.