Area fucktard gives up gaming

While this is old, I said in my last post that I wanted to repost these stories in my blog. I could bookmark them in the forums, but I'm kinda proud of them. They took some time to write, and I've since been trying to write a finale. With other shit going on in my life, it hasn't been the biggest priority, but now it's something I can once again put my creative focus on. Right after I get some sleep....

Lexington, NE - In a move that left adult gamers stunned, 13 year-old Timmy Smith has given up gaming. "I was such a jerk," he explained. "I didn't see how annoying and disrespectful I was. You know what they say, hind sight is 20 something."

Last week, Smith's gaming career reached it's climax, chalking up 36 kills in an online game of Halo 2's Team Training Assault. He marveled at his own skill. "I pwned you bitches," he said in the post game carnage report. "You're all a bunch of n00Bs and I pwned you. You guys must suck, 'cause I got 36 kills. I had, like, 50 medals too, you bunch of fags. Even my teammates sucked my balls. If it weren't for me, you niggers would have lost. I even sang "Cherry Pie" the whole friggin' time, and I still pwned you."

The trash talking continued even after everyone else had left the room. That's when Smith realized he had a problem. "I couldn't believe that they didn't want to hear about how skilled I am, or hang out with me in a party. I tried to send them friend requests, but they all declined 'em. I started to get angry with the fact that they wouldn't stay and take what they deserved. Maybe it was all the team kills. That's when I started to realize that I might have a problem."

Smith's parents, Gary and Linda, also sensed that their son might have a problem. "I'd wake up in the middle of the night to go to the can, and I'd hear Timmy swearing and singing at people that he was playing with online," Mr. Smith said. "At least I think he was playing with others online. Anyway, I'd check in on him, and he'd tell me that everything was fine, and that he was just making some new friends."

"I don't know what could ever have done this to our sweet little boy," Mrs. Smith said. "Ever since he got on that Xbox Now or whatever you call it, I've been so worried about him. Not only because of what I hear coming from his mouth, but because you never know what kind of creepy old men might be out there trying to seduce our child. I mean, just look at Michael Jackson. I thought he was gay, but into kids? That's sick!"

"What really brought things to a head, was when he started using his smack talk at the kitchen table," Mr. Smith explained. "We don't have a dining room, so our table's in the kitchen. Anyway, Timmy started saying stuff like "Pass the taters, bitch," and "Gimme some desert, or I'll no-scope your ass." We don't really know what that means, but we're a little uncomfortable with it."

"I'm such a fucktard," Smith said with tears swelling in his eyes. "If only I'd have known what an intolerable pile of shit I'd become. No one on my friends list likes me any more, and I'm really not that good. I cheated my way up to a 37 before the reset, but now I'm stuck at 18. I'm the n00B, I'm the one that sucks."

Smith went on to say that he's giving up video games, and taking up sports. "I just want to be a part of something where ego's never get in the way. What a better place than a team sports environment?"