Gaming to escape (duh!)

Agonizing_Gas

Shared on Sun, 02/18/2007 - 04:01
Recently I've come to the sad realization that I play games way too much.  While it's been obvious for a long time, it's not something that Ive wanted to let myself admit to.  It's like finally coming to grips with your crack addiction or trying to pry your lips off of a bottle that has become entirely too comfortable in your hand.  And it wasn't family or friends that made me see the light, it was actually one single game that has eating away at me for over a year.  Not surprisingly, this game is World of Warcraft.

If you've kept up on my blog, you'll know that I've been going through some trying times over the past year or so.  Actually, it would be safe to say that the past couple years have been fairly rough for me personally.  Finally, I'm starting to feel a bit like myself again, and I'm displeased with how much WoW I play, and how much real life I pass on actually living just so I can have one of my characters learn a new spell or grab a rare drop off of some monster.  Now, I don't consider it all a loss of time, as I've met some folks and made some friends that I might not have if I hadn't given the free trial of WoW that I got a shot.  A few people in my guild have become a daily fixture in my life, and I think that they are harder to walk away from than the game itself.  Some of these friends have been there for the darkest period of my adult life, and others have helped me get past that period and given support when I didn't have anyone in "real life" doing it in the same way.  I don't think that any of the people in my guild will realize how important they were to me over the past few months (year?) nor will they ever know how much they helped.  If any of you guys read my blog, I thank you from my heart.  You guys and gals rock.

The anonymity of the internet allows you to be more honest and open than you might be able to be with those in your daily life.  I was able to tell my tale and have people reply without influence from other people involved in my daily drama.  I could lend an ear to others when they needed to vent, and it made us fairly close without really having to go through much together to get there.   I think the same sort of closeness occurs in Halo clans and the like, but I really think that WoW (and possibly other MMO's, as I haven't tried any others), but I think that competition and testosterone get in the way of letting it happen as quickly and completely.  Alas, as usual, I'm starting to stray...

Escape is an obvious reason to game.  It's interesting to me though that it's something that I do with my male friends as a casual activity.  Some people watch TV to turn off the brain, some people have poker nights to get the boys together, yet others watch sports almost as a religious experience.  I am a gamer.  When I get home, I fire up 2o2p, see what's going on, log in to WoW, and set my mind on neutral.  It's how I relax, it's what I enjoy and I don't see that changing in the immediate future a huge amount.

So, if I don't have my mind set to give up gaming, wtf is the point of this post?  While I don't see myself dropping my WoW account (now at least), I do see myself focusing more on things that are important to me in "rl".  I want to work on my photography, I want to work on my writing, I want to see more of this world than that of the one Blizzard has seduced me with.  I want to reconnect with my XBL friends, as a few of them were around to help me get by as well, even though I was off exploring and losing myself in Azeroth.  Most importantly, I want to focus on taking care of myself, which I've made claims to do, but never followed through on.  I hope to be a new man (slightly smaller in size) when the LAN comes, and I plan on being in Chicago if I can afford to go

Comments

DEEP_NNN's picture
Submitted by DEEP_NNN on Sun, 02/18/2007 - 09:37
AG, Make a list of daily things that need to get done in the real world. If the list gets bigger instead of smaller then you must limit your on-line life. If my wife makes me a list, things get done and I feel good. Without a list, I tend to sit down at the PC or console, little gets done and I feel poorly afterwards. I've been lucky enough to have experienced many real world things. I doubt this would have happened if my current on-line activities had begun 35 years ago. You mentioned Halo-like games limiting the closeness that you've achieved in MMOs. I think I understand that point of view and currently see that limitation as an advantage. I strongly believe in setting specific time slots for on-line activities/gaming. It's keeping me out of trouble for the most part. I think it can help you too. Good luck.
Umbee's picture
Submitted by Umbee on Sun, 02/18/2007 - 10:45
You know, if I actually knew more people in real life that were worth spending time with, I might spend less time playing than I do. After my family, there are not many people I really want to know. I have one really close friend, and he and his wife often get together with me and my wife. And that's it. Maybe it is my line of work that has changed my perspective, but a great number of the people in the world just aren't worth much time from me. I just think that most people are too busy looking at what they don't have, and they really miss out on what they already have. I really enjoy my online social life..and as long as it exists, I am going to keep it as important to me on my list. i really don't feel that I have missed out on anything. I hope you find what you are looking or Ag...you know i love ya!! Online games (WoW) and the friends I have met there are just what I need to fill that social need that we all have. I know many people that go out all the time, spend a ton of money on food and drinks, getting drunk and driving home, who claim to have a real life. Well my friend, that life is more of a joke than they think an online life is.
OldManRiver48's picture
Submitted by OldManRiver48 on Sun, 02/18/2007 - 10:53
I can certainly relate 100% to what you saying AG. I too could use balance in life/online. Like any "addiction" being able to stand outside and honestly summarize your situation is huge. Good Luck & I'll see ya in Chicago! :)
Bodaget's picture
Submitted by Bodaget on Tue, 03/06/2007 - 13:21
Suck it :)

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