Pay me for advice

Los Angeles: Being married to someone who isn't a good spouse or parent eventually will affect how much you like that person. People seem to understand that on an intuitive level.  What I think people often miss is that if you don't like someone, then that person won't be a good spouse or (to a lesser extent) parent.  As a how-much-do-I-really-like-him meter, pick the true statement:
A) You've always dreamed of having a guy be as lukewarm to you as you are to your boyfriend.
B) The other guy would be perfect for you, if you had a future.
C) Your boyfriend would be perfect for you, if you only liked him more.
D) Your choices are limited to either the boyfriend or the other guy; you can be neither single nor with any other man on Earth.
E) The right guy will make this the biggest non-decision you ever make.

(Hint: You're right.) - Carolyn

I think that the direction that the columnist took to provide advice (did she provide any?  I don't really see anything that looks like advice.  And was she trying to be funny?) really address the writer's concerns?  Wasn't the writer really asking if she should risk possibly losing the best thing she's ever had just to go have a fling with some hot guy she wants to get dirty with?

When we're younger, and even as we get older, it's my belief  that we have the dream that the hot guy or girl that we just want to have hot, sweaty, porn-star sex with will turn out to be the dream spouse, the one that we always imagined being perfect for us (okay, maybe that's just my dream).  It's a case of "the grass is always greener" because we're in a committed relationship and some days, just about anything looks hotter than your current partner.  Regardless of the reason behind it, I think that we will always run into people that we "click" with, and those that will tempt us.  For instance, men are wired by nature to feel the need to mate with as many women as possible.  Not all follow that urge, but no matter how much people don't like to think about it, I think men and women will both look and think "what if?" if for no other reason than just the sex.

I'd wager that outside of "Celebrity Exception Lists" that some couples may jokingly make (if I see celebrity name, and they want to have sex, I love you baby, but...), I'd say that a lot of folks don't talk about it.  Some couples might, but even then I don't think that it's 100% honest.  If it were, a lot of guys would go home with a list of names to report on, and some women might as well.

Now, to get back to the writer's letter.  She has met a guy with whom she feels she shares physical chemistry. I assume this because she didn't see there being much of a future with the guy she's attracted to.  The question she asks is: "Does this mean I don't know what I want?"  I think it's clear that she's hasn't acted on her attraction because she knows she's with a great guy.  The question is really this: Is one of these guys the guy?  Is the perfect partner out there?  For this woman, is there a guy that will satisfy aspects of the two different kinds of guys that she seems to like?  If you're married, is your wife or husband the one?  Or is it just a fairy tale?  Should the woman settle for the guy she is presently with because she knows he'll be kind, loving and a great father?