Nair and a new job.

So I've been unhappy with job life for the last year or so, lots of traveling, hate co-workers, etc.  I landed a new gig at a place a LOT closer to home, I actually do a lot less and make the same money.  Its rad.  Now instead of having the responsibility and no authority, I have the responsibility AND the authority to go with it.  I get to decide who mops, who scrubs the shitter, who takes out the garbage, and they have to listen to me because they cant go run and cry to their daddy/grandpa/etc.  HA HA HA.  Its kickin ass around here, not as busy as I'm used to.  I'm actually going a little stir crazy.  I've almost overhauled the shop here.  We'll see how far I can go before the owner says something to me.

I had some time off between jobs, a week actually.  Mind you I'd been used to getting up at 5:40, being on the road at 6:15 and getting to work at 8am.  Getting off at 5:30 and being home at 7pm.  That made for some long days.  So while I was used to that, I started getting bored during my week off.

I was in the bathroom and saw a bottle of nair.  Nair Shower Power to be exact.  Something you can use in the shower thats not supposed to wash right off.  My fiance has mentioned previously that I should try that.  We're getting married June 26th so I thought I'd nair my junk for the honeymoon.  I've heard lots of stories about chemical burns and shit, which by the way, happened to be the cause of all my apprehension.  Well, me being the forward thinker I am I decided I needed to get that stuff figured out pre-wedding.  I dont want to try and figure this out 2 days before the wedding and get a chemical burn on my cock and have a useless 'chiefbunny' style cock.

So I get to checking out the directions, supposedly this stuff came with some sort of applicator sponge, which I conveniently cant find.  Not that it matters, I pressed on.  So 3 minutes this stuff is supposed to stay on.  I give it a minute head start before I hop in the shower.  I look at the clock, look at my cock and think to myself 'Hang in there buddy, 2 more minutes'.  So I'm in the shower, doing normal shower stuff, poking my head out and looking at the clock.  Man, that chemical burn warning REALLY makes me nervous.  I really dont want to burn my dick off with nair.  So the time finally comes to wash it all off, and with the nair should come the hair!  I'm kindof nervous to see the results now.

Bring on the water! So I rinse it all away...it took out about half the hair.  Looks like my dick has mange or something now.  Its got little bald patches all over the place.   Holy Fuck. How the hell can I explain this one?  I really dont want to reapply the nair and risk the burn.  I do the only thing I can think of in a panic, shave it all off.  What I failed to realize at the time is that nair keeps hair gone longer than shaving.  So yesterday my hair has grown out a bit where I shaved it and its still smooth where the nair worked its mojo.  I really dont know how I'm going to explain this one.  It kind looks like little continents of hair in a sea of skin.  Its almost amazing.  I'd post pics, but I was asked not to.

So now I have a choice to make, do I risk it again and go 4 minutes before the wedding or should I just trim it up and tell the then wife 'We're married now, this is as close as you're going to get' or what?