Apparently I was worth it.

 

Last night we got yet another call from a telemarketer who claims to be from our alma matter, demanding $38 to continue our membership in the alumni association for the next year….yeah, we never signed up for the Alumni Association, because if it was ONLY $38 a year we would have done it just to get them to stop calling…..but our Alumni Association is almost $400 per year. To that we say HELL NO! and as for the scammer…..

 

Last night the waste of stem cells calls again, the Caller ID says “Private Number” as always (though we get a lot of those calls lately) My wife picks up the phone and this time it is a woman. She asks for me, and my wife in a normal, I’ll humor you for the moment and treat you like a person as opposed to a puddle of excrement that was found in the corner of an insane asylum that was given a Bluetooth headset and an auto dialer, approach simply says “yes he’s here, can I tell him who’s calling?” there is a short pause, and the rejected space monkey blurts out, “no thank you” and hangs up…..my wife gives me a strange look.   

 

“I think that was your mistress” my first thought floating to January Sereph (if you don’t know who she is, shame on you) but why would someone like her ever contact me? Then it clicked, OH, “mistress” haha, that’s funny….she continued to look at me weird, probably because it looked like I drifted off for a second….which I did, but I was thinking of something totally different….but I have a hard enough time trying not to ruin this relationship there is no way I could manage a second one, let alone keeping it a secret. 

 

So, that brings me to the point….how should I torture this scammer when they call back today?

 

The classics just won’t cover it here, in the past I have done the “he’s dead, and cry into the phone”, pick up a second phone and give them a taste of the feedback, which won't work with our current phones, start giving them a pitch to hire me as a consultant and when they say no, advise them that I will still have to charge them for the three hour initial consultation, and my favorite, advise them that they have called a secure Illuminati  facility and demand their member designation and security clearance or face treason charges.  

 

I am debating a new approach, try to get their phone number then post it online as a free phone sex #, but most of those people are difficult to con into giving up their number.   

 

Anyone have any good suggestions on how to torture this scammer?

 

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