Vacation/The Job Hunt Continues

I will be away from the blogs due to being off work all next week, but I do have something on my mind that I must figure out.

 

After a very bad experience with a promotion that I took 3 years ago(but I don't want to get into that because I normally get pissed off when I recall half of what I had to put up with there), I have been very careful on what jobs I bid for. I have been very attentive to the work that will be done, who the supervisor is, what the political responsibilities of the position are, and possibility for future advancement.

 

Things are changing, I am starting to look into more dangerous waters for employment, even applying to 2 very dangerous jobs, but I can't figure out if I want to apply to 2 more (listed as Jobs 3 and 4). 

 

Job 1 is often referred to in our office as “The Boot Camp” Politically it is a secure position, the pay is a bit better than my current job, but the job comes with a supervisor who, even though I love her to death, is the most demanding boss in the building. I really want this job because surviving the boot camp normally results in job offers from ALL OVER. I really want this job.  

 

Job 2 is much easier work, a much easier going boss, (though she is very much a micromanages everything.) and much higher pay. The problem is that the job comes with the potential to be fired at the total discretion of upper management (a group of people who do not hide the fact that they do not like me).

 

Jobs 3 and 4 just opened up, both are much higher pay, but under a boss I worked for in the past, and she is encouraging me to apply for it. Again, it is a position that can be terminated at will, but the supervisor in this job will stand up for me if it comes to that. The issue is that it is really a job I don’t want to do. The work is somewhat mindless, supervising individuals who are totally mindless button pushers who, being part of the untouchable and easily angered U n i o n, despise management with every inch of their being. The other problem is that this job would lock me in to a set path for the rest of my career here. I would be high enough and specialized enough that no other section of the office will ever consider hiring me again.

 

 

So….

Job 1 will have me feeling like I should be going home with a black eye, but I will actually have something to show for my work, and the job comes with a large amount of fear and respect (which I LOVE) Is very mentally exhausting, which I also like. For my sanity, this will be the best job for me in the long term

Job 2 will have me feeling better because of the much higher pay, but the job may not last very long (depending on when upper managment decides to throw a PMS inspired hissyfit and fire me) and if I lose that one, I’m out on the street (Job 1 would at worst bump me back to my current hell, I mean job). This job would be better in the short term since there is almost no chance for promotion in the foreseeable future. 

 

Job 3 and 4 will have me leaving work wanting to beat my head in with a hammer. This job, aside from the pay, is the closest thing I can think of to being punished. A year ago, they could have offered me the job with a nice signing bonus, and I still would have laughed at them.  But this is the the job that I stand the greatest chance of being offered, though my chances are very close to those of Job 1. Both jobs are very political, which is a massive strike against.  Promotions here are common, but the job they promote to averages a 14hr a work day where they will not hesitate to bug you in the middle of the night just for the sake of bugging you.

 

 

I have long given up on finding my dream job, if it even exists. I’ve even given up on finding a job that I can be proud of or even satisfied with. To me, a job is now just something I need to go to and be tortured so I can get money to buy more games which I will use to forget that I have to go to that job again the next morning. My will is almost broken, all I have in my life to make me happy is my wife and video games. Everything else just reminds me of having to go back to work. I can’t even come up with snarky remarks to insult people with anymore. I just feel like I’m sitting here and waiting for the building to fall out from under me.  At least the military would build me back up after they broke me, this place just tears you down to ground level then hands you a shovel and tells you to dig until they can find something else to take away from you.

 

I keep trying to focus on the good things in my blog and in my free time. But no matter how beautiful the flower is at your feet, you can’t ignore the person hitting you in the head with a baseball bat.

 

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