I quit.

Don't get excitied, I am not refering to quitting the website.  Sorry if that gave anyone any false hopes.

I am giving up drinking.   I have decided that I need to stop.  I don't get $hit faced or anything like that.  But I have a routine.  I come home, I do what I need to do, then have about 4 beers before I go to bed in order to sleep.  I have been considering that this is not the best way to get rest.  Considering I have a family history where both of my granparents were alcholics, I figure I am predisposed towards dependency.  Hell, I probably already am there.  I smoked for 12 years or so.  Finallyl just stopped doing it.  No programs, no gum, no hypnosis, just stopped.  So thats what I am going to do now.  Before it affects things to severly in my life.  I'll probably feel better in the morning anyways. 

With all the things going on in life recently that I have been using as a excuse to not stop, thigns like planning a wedding, learning how to run a house and take care of things, working 50-60+ hours a week, and then the serious things.   Getting myself mentally preparred to have a full genetic test done to see if I am a carrier of the genes that lead to Multiple Epiphysela Dysplasia, Dominant.  Basically its a skeletal genetic disorder that has affected my niece in some very profound ways that I don't think need to be gotten into here.  I am scared shitless that I have this and that I may pass it down to any children I might have.  Before, this wouldn't be a problem at all because I was pretty sure I didn't want to have any and my fiance' has one, so I get to play dad on occasion when he allows it.  But, I have to say that I have been seeing parents with their kids and they are so god damn cute and I kinda want to have one with my future wife.  And I know she does as well.  But, do I want to run the risk of this and having a child that won't have a perfect life.  What if the gene is in my make up and I pass it along, and it does worse to them than it did to my niece.  My sister carries the gene, as does my father.  My father actually is in some medical journal for having the largest benign (non-cancerous) boney tumor succusefully removed from his humerous when he was a kid.  So I more than likely will have it.  I suspect as much because my joints are not what they could be.  I have bad knees, wrists, lower back and my jaw constantly grinds whenever it moves.  So, with all this, I have been using the drink as a crutch to help me pass out and "sleep"

SO!  Much like the smoking, I call it quits.  No more drinking.  I don't enjoy it.  It just was the easiest way to do things.  If I can't sleep still, I will go to the docs and see what can be done, either counseling or maybe just getting the test done, maybe I will be lucky and not have it at all.

Sorry to go on and on, but its been bugging me and the mild anonymity of here makes it easy enough to blabber on.