When is it to much?

Work. I love work. Seriously I do. I enjoy my field of work, I enjoy for the most part working with patients and providing testing.

I enjoy running my lab, dealing with issues isn't a bother. The piles of paper work. The requirements that I have to make sure are taken care of to stay accredited. All that stuff isn't a big deal. Dealing with different personalities all day and trying to keep people from killing each other is just another thing I do all day.

But when does it get to be to much? I am glad I have a job that pays what it does. It pays good and so far we are just infront of our bills. Our mortgage is paid on time, we have food to eat and the dog is happy.

But now, I feel its getting to be to much.

We had a tech leave recently, thank god. The reason I say that is she was the proverbial 300lbs Gorilla in the room. Not actually a 300lbs or hairy but she was a devote Orthodox Catholic from Egypt. And she prayed, all day. ALL day. It was hard to get her to work, because she didn't see what was going on around because she was reading the bible, or at least her bible. It was rough, you had to be careful what you said, how you said it becuse I have no doubt that she would report us for infringing on her religous rights or claim persecution. Oh it was rough. But recently she knew she was going to be in BIG trouble for insubordination while I was out sick. So when I came back to work, she quit. Not big lose. I told her to get her stuff and leave. And all of a sudden, everyone's moral improved. I unfortunately now only have one other full time tech besides myself and the work load has gone up exponentially in the last couple of weeks due to changes in the way we do things. This is not a problem, the other tech is a young woman and a gifted tech, I would trust her with my mother as a patient.

Now the other shoe, she has been offered a position that pays 16thousand dollars more per year., she doesn't want to leave, and if I can somehow get the company to give her 4 bucks more a hour, she will stay.  But I have a bad feeling that this won't happen.

So then there is me.  To do 80patients a week.  To take call every weekend until we can hire someone else.   I feel completely doomed.  I don't remember the last time I felt this anxious and freaked out all at the same time.  I caan do it, but at what cost?  I have no where else to go, there is no other place I can go and get paid what I get paid, and we need that kind of pay to stay ahead.   My wife is in night school, so I am doing dual parenting duties each night, so when I get home to relax, I can't get home to relax.

I don't even feel like gaming, I haven't powered up my 360 or ps3 in a while to play anything because all I want to do is.....sit.

God damn it, I am so screwed.