24 Finally!!

If Jack Bauer was Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.

There has not been a terrorist attack in the United States since Jack Bauer first appeared on television.

Jack Bauer sleeps with a night light because the dark is afraid of Jack Bauer

Terrorists dread the day in October that Daylight Savings Time ends. Jack Bauer gets 25 hours in which to kill them.

Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.

Kryptonite is not really from Krypton. It is made from Jack Bauer's crap, that is why it can kill Superman.

Vin Diesel can be rearranged to say "I end lives." Jack Bauer can be rearranged to say "Jack Bauer," which means the same thing.

The only reason you're conscious right now is because Jack Bauer doesn't want to carry you.

Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.

There were originally five horsemen of the apocalypse. Jack Bauer said he would travel by foot.

When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack found it and put it back.

They say you can't go a day without water, Jack Bauer has gone five seasons.

After running out of ammo, Jack stood in the line of fire, took 3 shots to the chest, and used them to reload.

Jack Bauer has been to Mars. That's why there's no life on Mars.

On Jack Bauers Tax Returns, he has to claim the entire world as his dependents.

If Jack Bauer were gay, he would be Chuck Norris

Every time you masturbate Jack Bauer kills a terrorist. Not because you masturbated, but because that is how often he kills terrorists.