Input/Output

Really? I don't think you really have to go deep in order to find sense in those answers.

Curfews protect kids from physical danger. Young kids are protected from violence in movies and TVs to keep them from being scared. Kids don't get porn because they will try to emulate what they see without knowing consequences of their actions. Kids shouldn't smoke because it will kill them. Kids shouldn't do drugs because drugs are bad, mmmkay? Kids shouldn't drink because that would increase the demand and the supply would be less and the cost to adults would go up. Kids shouldn't curse because it makes them annoying to listen to. Finally, I don't think anyone tells their daughter that her clothes are too tight/short/low. Whorish-looking 12-year-olds infest society!

I don't think any of those things would ever be endorsed in my household. When your kids move out, it's up to them if they do any of them when they're on their own, so long as they are prepared to deal with the consequences. You just have to hope as a parent, you've instilled a good sense of right and wrong and potential problems that these could lead to.

You have to go deeper into those answers then most people seem willing to in order to make sense of those questions. The primary reason is because kids are usually the ones asking them and as they move closer to adulthood and adult methods of reasoning the differences between them and adults begins to blur and distinctions are hard to make. DK's answers might work for your ten year old. However, if they continue to work for your 13-14 year old you have a socially backward child. 13-14 year olds: Like being scared by what's happening in movies and TV. Won't die from smoking cigarettes. It'll be another 50 years before that happens. Know that caffeine is a drug and that when they are sick are given drugs to get better. Have better access to free alcohol while living with their parents then they ever will again. Know that adults aren't listening to them anyway, so why not curse? Should probably not take fashion advice from anyone wearing socks with their Tevas. Flip answers to important questions make young people not listen to any answers from the people that give them. They do respond exceedingly well to considered answers and facts. They weigh them carefully in their risk decisions. They typically want to do the right thing and given the resources to resist risky behavior will use those resources. Chemically, structurally and developmentally the adolescent brain is different from an adult brain. It isn't just younger, it's different. Until you reach your mid twenties the brain is primarily concerned with gaining weight and size. After that it is concerned with developing redundant neural pathways, reconfiguring to optimize organization and memory and shifting resources to optimize data from reducing sensory input. These differences make the adolescent brain vulnerable to certain stimuli that the adult brain is not. Addiction, impulse control disorders, suicidality and other issues are exponentially higher in young people then they are in adults, not because kids are ill-formed adults, or not as smart, but because their brains are different. Delaying decisions like smoking, drinking, language and speech patterns, sex and drugs allow for a more likely positive outcome for all of these behaviors. I don't have a very strong moral compass. There is not a lot of behavior I consider "wrong." If someone wants to take drugs, drink, smoke, work as a pornstar or spend money on Saw sequels I don't give a shit. I do have very little patience for people who are ignorant of, or blind to, the consequences of their behavior. Don't cry when they put the trach tube in, don't act remorseful after you drive over the pack of cubscouts, and don't come bitching to me that your kids won't listen to you. They are listening. Don't fuck up the answer.