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Any Stepparents Out There?

BigpunishrsWife

Shared on Thu, 06/22/2006 - 11:24

Just wondered if we had any amongst ourselves. Im quite sure we do and I just wanted to reach out and say....

I understand.

Sometimes I wish someone could just look at me and say those two words - and truly mean it.

I love all of my kids just the same. I have been helping my husband raise them since they were 3 and 4. The boys are now 10 and 9 (in August). I mean it is not like I just now entered into their lives, but man this is a tough job. We have had custody and they have lived with us for the last 5 years, but it was a long road to reach. Their mother is in and out of their lives, continues to not work, continues to get into trouble with the law, drugs etc AND continues to refuse to help out financially.

Anyway, the boys are with their Grandma (her mom) and their mother at Disney World right now. Must be nice.

 

Just needed to vent...thanks.

Mrs. Punisher

Comments

Anonymous's picture
Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Tue, 06/27/2006 - 23:10
I hear ya, when i met my wife, she had a 2 yr old daughter whose dad didnt want to admit she was his. She called me Daddy for the longest time. Well, my wife and I had some problems, and the father was made to have a DNA test. He ended up taking custody, and his mother forced her to call him daddy. So now Im just "Stepfather". You know, its one thing to bring a kid into this world, but its another to show them how to live. I was adopted, and my parents raised me with all thier love. To me, theyll always be Mom and Dad. If i met my real mother on the street today and knew she was my mother, Id probably call her by her first name. So, when the kids grow up, theyll remember what real love is, the hard part is waiting for that to happen. My prayers are with you, good luck :)
TANK's picture
Submitted by TANK on Thu, 06/22/2006 - 12:59
Im one but THANKFULLY im nearing the end of my tour of duty. The younger one will be 18 in January and thats it, theres the door, dont let it hit your ass on the way out. Theres no love lost between me and my wifes kids. I cant wait for this youngest one to be legally responsible for all the shit he gets into. And i can finally say, Not my problem, your problems are your own now kid. I know this may sound harsh to anyone else whos reading this. But please dont judge, yo uhave no idea all the BS ive put up with for the past 10 years and im not afraid to say im damn happy that theyre both almost done living at home very soon. Im almost as happy as im sure ill be at retirement!
Wife_of_F1R3's picture
Submitted by Wife_of_F1R3 on Thu, 06/22/2006 - 13:01
I am a stepparrent....of a boy and a girl. It is very hard I completely understand. I have only been in their lives for 2 years and the situation with the mother is almost the same. In and out of their lives...when she has them shes not really there...we are going for full custody, so we shall see. and you can totally vent away, I know we have never talked before but if you need to vent you can pm me!!!
BigpunishrsWife's picture
Submitted by BigpunishrsWife on Thu, 06/22/2006 - 13:17
Thanks guys! And Tank, your right to some it may sound harsh, but I definitely know what you mean...until some have lived in our shoes - they will truly have no clue. Take care - and will pm in the future Wife_of_F1R3.
codemonkey's picture
Submitted by codemonkey on Thu, 06/22/2006 - 16:29
I have a stepmother, and I was a good kid. She was lucky :) She helped my father out of a lot of tough situations (such as learning to grow up and be an adult because your 4 year old boy is impressionable). She holds down most of the fort financially and she was probably the best thing that could have happened for my dad. My mother is cool, she and my father just grew apart after getting married at 18 and having me at like 19 or 20 it was too much for them and they had to part ways. They get alone fine now on the occasions they see each other at events and such, and they care for each other as friends would. I just wanted to make sure that people realize not all step parents are destroyed with bad kids :) Im sure its a higher percentage, but let it be known that some of us make it out ok. My friends list might not be full of 100 buddies, but I think I turned out ok ;-) -CM
BigpunishrsWife's picture
Submitted by BigpunishrsWife on Fri, 06/23/2006 - 08:27
I can also speak on the side of being a stepchild. My parents divorced when I was 14 and then both remarried soon after. Having a stepparent at that age was not an easy task. I have much understanding for my stepsons. I just need them to get a little older so they understand that I understand the toughness of their position. I just never realized what this side of the picture looked like...and I hope that when my kids find someone to spend their life with - they dont get into a similiar situation. I wouldnt change my marriage or family, but sure didnt know "insta-family" would be this hard.

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