BIG StepParent RANT

Ok Ok, sooooo I need to take a deep breath and remember why Im in this situation. I love my husband A TON, I love my stepsons a ton, and most definitely love our son. SOOOOO... The two boys get back from a week long Disney World vacation with their mother and Grandma last Tuesday. They get dropped off to us upon return at 9:00 pm  and immediately say, "Hi, We havent had any dinner." Well we missed you guys too. So off to McDonalds I go. They eat and go to bed. They stay with us for Wed. and Thur. night and then go back with their mother on Friday. They wanted to come back for a while on Saturday because we were remodeling our kitchen and we had some friends over to help, who also have kids their age and they all wanted to play. Their mother was going to pick them up at 10:00 pm, but never showed. We dropped them off at her mothers house where she is currently living by 11:15 pm Saturday night. They stay with her on Sunday night and make their way back to us Monday morning at 9:30 am. She wanted them back for the 4th (or at least her mother did), so they were suppose to go back to her. They found out we were grilling out and doing some other stuff and decide they want to stay. They call their mother and she is still sleeping at 10:00 am on a Tuesday morning. They tell thier Grandma they want to stay and she says that their mom will call them back to let them know what is going on...we never hear shit. After a feast, my in-laws took them to see fire works and they get dropped off at home at 11:00 pm. First words out of their mouth, Dad can we call mom and see if we can go with her? First word out of my mouth....UMMMM NO. I have tried to warn my husband that straying to far from the schedule will eventually bite us in the ass....now dont get me wrong, I have no problem with them getting to see thier parents a little extra whenever, BUT, can I call her at 11:00 at night?  Lets not forget these boys are only 8 and 9 - soon to be 9 and 10. Not to mention that my husband was just leaving for work (3rd shift) and I have to be the one to tote them around and deal with all the lack of communication on her part. So once again, I am the evil steppmom who shouldnt have a say in shit. Because at the moment that I dont give them what they want I am only the person who is married to their father. They forget the person who has raised them since they were 3 and 4 when their mother was wasted and didnt want shit to do with them. In and out of their lives for 3-4 months at a time...this last 2 years is a streak only because she had a crack problem with a boyfriend, racked up a couple of felonies with her boyfriend, had another baby with her boyfriend, and then proceeded to have him arrested and took a plea bargain for her crimes. So for the last 2 years she has been in the picture because she lives with mom (for free and gets public aid) and well they go to see Grandma and thus they see mom. It is sad how much she has ruined their lives and continues to ruin their lives. We try to keep things stable...during school their is never any compromise and now that we are compromising with the summer schedule - we know why their will never be compromise during the school season.

Man, I love my husband.