Just some thoughts

Continuing the dialog on violence, I would like to make a couple points here. But first to give you some background; we are in the Central Time Zone, the show is on at 8:00 Central and my kids are 15, 13, 12 and 8. Also except for the graphic violence I think it would be an awesome family show. In many cases graphic images bother me more than my kids, even when they do those special medical scopes of the inside of the body, ewww! I believe in the original blog I was expressing a wish that they would keep graphic violence off during the family hours (9:00 seems like a common sense time for me too). We have all our media in the family room where we all hang out, well as a family. So the rule at my house is it needs to be appropriate for the youngest member of the family. Like Unwashed Mass, some of the things my eight year old sees really bother him, however it is not always what I think it will be (For example he is really scared of fires, he doesn't even like the 'What to Do In Case There is Fire'  talks that we have as a family from time to time. In that case we have to override his discomfort because we NEED to have a plan. ).

First point: Just because a kid feels comfortable with or wants to do something doesn't mean it is necessarily right for him to do it. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt my 13 year old would love Grand Theft Auto but it is not acceptable to me. I doubt he will be seriously damaged by not playing it at home (how many times has he gotten away with going over to a friends house and playing? About 3, which is a hell of a lot less than if I shrugged and said he's going to play it anyway, why even bother? Would he turn out to be a cop killer, probably not; but it doesn't matter, he is getting the message that that sort of behavior is not acceptable to me, I won't condone it in you and I don't even want to watch it. So he is going to have to bite the bullet and show some consideration for someone else besides himself. When they are little, you make them do that and hopefully when they grow up they will internalize the behavior. Parenting is making a judgment call on what you believe is right and wrong and sticking to your guns about it. Kids will try those standards for themselves and have to make up their own minds, but at least your giving them a base line to work from.

Second point: Personally although I don't blame video games or TV for violent behavior in people, or cigarettes for lung cancer, or McDonalds for being fat, I also don't put my head in the sand and decide those things have NOTHING to do with the undesirable results they have period. How much money is spent on a TV ad? Why do companies pay that much? Because no matter how vigorously it is denied, what you see DOES influence what you do. Whether it influences it in a good or bad way, it does have an effect. Going back to my diet example, when I want to lose weight, I look up low fat recipes, I watch exercise shows and Biggest Loser, I do something besides watch commercials for cheeseburgers (personal weakness). Another words, I shift my mind away from fat foods. It is only a part of what I do, but it is the mental part.

Third point: I am responsible for other people around me besides my family. Mainly because it is one (or more) of those disturbed people that could go into go into MY daughter's school and possibly shoot her. All that hard work raising my kid to do right, everything that I put into her so she can go forth and make a difference in this world, gone. Irretrivebly. I don't take that possibility lying down. Somehow, I must get the message to other kids whose parents don't care that this stuff is not OK to dwell on all your free time. Putting off violent, graphic shows until past normal bed time and putting a variety of programming options on TV are a step. ERSB ratings are a step. Yeah, there are problems with the system but overall it says someone cares. My local news put off covering a story about homosexuals having sex in one of our public parks until the 10:30 news last night, I thought that was responsible of them. Do we need to know about that, yes. Was it funny to see this flaming gay guy being interviewed and saying, "The first two people the good Lord made had sex outdoors", yes. However, I would like to choose my own time and place to talk to my kids about why I laughed and homosexual issues and why we are not going to that park for a while, thank you very much. Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn about being "politically correct" but I do feel the responsibility to protect the must vulnerable people in our society from being hurt.