char
Shared on Tue, 07/08/2008 - 11:26You know you fly too much when you recognize the stains on the seats.
Airline woes:
Airlines are charging $15 bucks to check your luggage and some are charging $2 for a in-flight coke. I never check my luggage, I always do carry-on. I don't like waiting at Baggage pickup, while I wonder if my luggage will be intact, or there at all.
I'm trying to change with current times and the Airlines new rules, but I'm still getting use to the fact they don't feed you anymore. I know airline food sucks, but when you didn't have time to grab a quick meal you could always eat the in-flight meal...better than nothing. Or, me standing in my socks, while having some strange man go through my luggage with looks of suspicion. Yeah, cause I look like a criminal and those panties are dangerous.....
Today....
I'm sitting here waiting to board my flight. I'm not in the mood to read anything, bored, tired, hoping for no more delays. I was thirsty as well. I turned my back on that clear blue bottle of Aquafina. I started thinking of my last flight and the lesson I learned. I look at my water bottle with misgiving. I dispose of it in my bag. I tell myself "dehydration is the best way to go"
Finely! I see the plane pull up to the gate.
Two days before, on a different flight.......
Before boarding my flight, the very sweet sounding reservationist says " Flight blu blu bla will not be allowing carry on beverages, please dispose of all beverages before boarding....blu....blu....yada....bla I say "no problem, I'll drink like a fish before they broad the flight." So I down a 48 oz bottle of water. Ha Ha Ha, I'm well quenched. The rest of the poor suckers will have to go thirsty.....but not me!
After boarding, finding my seat, happy as all get out, that the guy sitting next to me is not over flowing in his seat, and in fact is very nice looking. I settle in for what is supposed to be a short flight. Captain speaks... "Welcome aboard flight bla bal bal.....yada yda yda"...................."Wait," I say, "what did he just say?"....Guy next to me says, "something about facilities not working perfectly" So, I'm thinking, no problem, I should be able to hold it til we land, no problem what so ever. But wait....what did the Captain just say this time?..... "This is your Captain. Due to weather conditions we have some delays....we'll be sittin' here till the 20 or so northbound Boeing's in front of us take off. So sit tight and we'll give you an update as soon as we hear somethin'. (Have you ever wondered why pilots all talk with a Southern drawl?....Chuck Yeager knows.)
So immediately people start jumping up from their seats to "move around the cabin" Me thinking to myself "OH NO," as I watch people line up for the restrooms that ain't working perfectly. After sitting for some time on the tarmack, I realize I shouldn't have drank like a fish, 'cause now I have to..........like a horse (as they say)
Whose cocky now?!?....Well I can till you it ain't me.
I watch the long restroom line slowly move, inch by S L O W inch. Some time goes by. What's this? What's this?...... only a few people in line now....I see my chance.....I'm going for it! Relief is at hand! As I start crawling over the two guys sitting next to me I hear...... "This is your Captain...please take your seats, we are next in line for take off. Flight attendants prepare for takeoff" Me: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I start turning blue trying to hold it, hoping the cute guy sitting next to me doesn't see me explode. God, I love flying. Come fly with me, come fly with Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
I did make it to the restroom, but only after fighting with a very unhappy fight attendant. She backed off when I gave her the obvious ultimatum.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a flight to catch...
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Comments
Submitted by char on Wed, 07/09/2008 - 10:39
Submitted by char on Thu, 07/10/2008 - 18:10
Submitted by RyanFromVegas on Tue, 07/08/2008 - 12:03
Submitted by TexasTwister55 on Thu, 07/10/2008 - 06:54