Alas Monkey Butler, I Never Knew Ye

Alright a little backstory first, my girlfriend and I are purchasing our first home together and are looking for things to decorate it with. I am constantly getting hassled for leaving my keys in various places, and rightfully so, because I tend to forget wear I left them from time to time.

Me being the practical individual I am, I came up with a brainstorm a few months ago. I decided I wanted a monkey butler for the house. Now with all the recent events lately, I know you are thinking 'kiss your face goodbye Clobber'. While I do admit having a live monkey in the house would be fun, I'm not sure I wanted to deal with the wrath of a pissed off girlfriend after it decided to fling poo at her. I decided that a stuffed baboon would be the way to go. It wouldn't be an ordinary baboon however, it would be wearing a tuxedo, sunglasses have a cigarette in it's mouth and be holding a tray for me to dump my keys and other junk in as I walk through the door. Now I'm thinking this is brilliant, it kills two birds with one stone, a unique decoration piece and a tool to keep me organized. So I figure this is a can't miss idea, how wrong I was. After getting five minutes of the 'I can't believe you're this retarded' look, she counters with I can get a plush baboon for the house. That would be like going to buy a Corvette and coming home with a Cavalier, they both serve the same purpose, but it's not the same thing. Oh well, another dream crushed. Guess I will have to incorporate shade wearing, smoking baboons in tuxedos in my hunting game. It seems to be as close as I will get.