8/17/06 Another wierd day at work

Well after starting the day at my station house #2, Myself and one other guy got sent to fill in at Station #1 due to them being short 2 guys for the day. Having 4 stations in the city we get transferred sometimes when others are short - so no big deal. Station #1 is our department headquarters where all the adm. offices and chief are. Normally its not the first pick to go but this day it was ok for me due to a change in districts (I haven’t been posted in this area of the city for approx. 2 months). Nice to see other areas sometimes.

Upon arriving at Station #1, I was put in charge of Rescue #1 (our only "heavy" rescue truck in the city), with my regular partner (from Station #2). Our day was very slow only two calls till approx. 2pm. (Normally this truck averages 6-10 calls between 6a-6p). Then came a call for a suicide attempt at an apartment complex. As we were getting on the truck, one of our new rookies asked if he could come (his first suicide call). What is it with me and all the rookies lately, well at least I had my regular partner of 4 years driving. So three of us responded...........

As we arrived, several police were already on scene and walking us in to the apartment. (the fire dept. is called for stuff like this to provide medical and transport to hospital). We met with the patient who was a 60yr old female who was very drunk. She was sitting down and calm at this point. She was very depressed and just said over and over she wanted to die. We found several empty pill bottles near her and figured that was how she made the attempt. Well little did we know this was suddenly about to change very quickly. As we were talking to her and getting medical info she became very irate and combative. Our rookie was not really sure what to do so he backed off which I'm glad he did. I made another attempt to calm her down by talking to her and gave her 2 choices............#1 - Come with us to the hospital and get help or #2 - We force you and strap you down which will be very uncomfortable.

Well lets say she decided to take “exciting” Option #3 - attempt to grab a pen from the coffee table and stab herself in the heart.

Now, I cannot explain why I “reacted” the way I did and I’ve been thinking about this for a few days - because I’ve very freaked out by this………..I was able to “catch” her hand (mid-stab), approx. 1half inch from her chest. The pen never even marked her or me.............I then picked her up (bear hug) all in one motion "by myself" and lay her down on the stretcher. My partners strapped her down and we put her in the ambulance.

Not really realizing what just happened I turned around to see 2 cops, 2 ambulance crew members, our rookie and my partner all staring at me with mouths open. My partner was the first to said to me " I cannot believe what you just did - that was so fast".

I couldn’t respond to him. It hit me like a ton of bricks what happened. I cannot explain it. I was not even thinking that it could happen that way, or why at the time I felt like I should get close to her when I did while talking to her. I guess it was some help "from above" that will never be explained. I have always herd that in some situations like that people find unknown strength to be able to react. Well I guess that is what happened.............

On the way back to the station, we all were dead quiet. Not a single word. Which is the first time in 13 years I have ever experienced that - we always talk about runs we clear from (no matter how bad), it helps clear your mind and someone always makes a joke about something the clear the tension. It was worse when we got back to the station, everybody knew something happened by the look on our faces and that we were quiet - we usually tell everybody - "hey check this out".

Wore yet - As the story got out everybody stayed away and really would not talk to me. It made me feel like a baseball pitcher who is in the middle of a no hitter in the dugout - where no one will sit next to him. I eventually got called into the chiefs office for the big "debriefing" and the good job speech.

That was my last day at work. I'm now on vacation for one week (not because of this - my wife and I planned this vacation back in January).

I was not going to write about this. It took me 5 days to find a way to talk about this. I guess it freaked me out more than I realize. I know that it turned out to be a great "save" if you will, but knowing that I could not explain what happened and that for a few seconds I had no control of my reactions (good or bad) is kind of weird - That’s what is freaking me out so much. Well at least I have a week off now and a few fantasy football drafts this week to get my mind off of this.