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Dead Man's ExLax

C
COULOW

EVERYONE knows (or should by now) that I'm on the P90x workout system. A lot of changes have occured. Not like puberty, with body hair, but with "other" things...


I decided to pop a few of ye olde drink down last Friday, Red Bull and Vodka. Feeling pretty good. Nothing out of the norm.


 


And then, I woke up Saturday.


 


Dear Gods, do I have appendicitis? Did someone cockstab my abdomen in my sleep? When you pray to every known God to at least fart, you know you've done something hellishly wrong.


Now, my meatsickle and I are remodling his house in preparation for my arrival next month. It must be up to Coulow Code. So, that is our Saturday chore. Half bent, like an 80 yr old question mark does NOT make a job easy. I devoured 2 exlax pills by noon, and my deceased Grandfather's left over prescription bowel pills by 2pm.


 


...nothing.


 


Much to my families dismay, by 5pm, SOMETHING was happening. A rancid, centurian skunk apparently inhabited my lower bowels and I cleaned some rooms out. Not until after 8pm......OVER 8 HOURS LATER did glory happen.


 


A light shown down. A toilet was violated. A pant size dropped. A lesson learned.


 


When on a strict workout plan, don't think you can stomach things you used to. Not just 31 flavors of ice cream, or an all beef patty on a sesame seed bun. No. DRINKS are included boys and girls.


 


Lesson to all. We ain't young no mo.


 


Te amo.


COULOW

Comments (14)

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Codemunkee·
I remember my first cheat day. it was after my first full month. I had pizza. The next day I had a similar episode.\r \r This post +1
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clobbersaurus67·
LMAO, truly Bunny-esque. Well done
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crackcane·
COCKSTABED THATS FUCKIN SICK
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Claude505·
LMFAO! That's awesome. \r \r Is the P90x all its cracked up to be? Of course, it sounds like you are sticking to it pretty well...
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Lost_Cannibal·
LMFAO!
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PowerMacAttack·
I have the same question as Claude, is this the legit shit and how hard is it to stay on track?\r \r Great post by the way, I laughed my ass of!
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OLDMAV693·
Cou you need to write a book ROFLMAO your use of the English language too funny!!!!!!!!!
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MikeTheKnife·
I wonder if there was ever a laxative story that didn't end with a gigantic shit.
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Bertt·
whodda thought? musta been that red bull crap ;)
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rumbagod·
lmfao, love your stories!
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LuxDevil67·
diets suck. just get some exercise.
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LOSTRO·
Kickass on the p90x im startin up myself for the 2nd time on the p90x. my 1st time i was able to do for 5 weeks then stopped doin it cuz i had things stored in my lil workout area plus pulled a muscle/disc in back also at work but all that happened last winter. now back is feeling good again so im goin back at it.\r \r p90x is a workout not for the weak minded that is for sure lol\r \r got some before and monthly pics?
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COULOW·
Yah like my cat gut minus the fur would be posted public.\r I went to the SW Lan last Feb, and I'm going Feb 2010. Ppl WILL see the difference. If the shit stained foreheads of my head up the ass bosses let me have Aug off, I'm headed to my boys lan as well.\r \r Till then, I need to tan and quit longing for french fries...
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Codemunkee·
P90X = the real deal, requires lots of determinattion and discipline, like any other fitness program. Works even better if you have someone to work out with.