That is DOCTOR Raste to you

Raste/Irion/Stephen completed a successful defense of his doctoral defense yesterday, so that means he is now officially, for-reals, a Ph. D.  I saw it with my own two eyes, and it was awesome beyond words.  I've had the sincere honor of being his friend for almost exactly 13 years now, and I can't tell you how proud I am of all his accomplishment.  Stephen was always a dedicated student, even when we were just taking Physics and A.P. Biology in high-school.  He has had his focus set on being a scientist for a long time, and has worked tirelessly towards that goal.  The sacrifices that he has made in his personal life to pursue this degree are something that not everyone could withstand, but without people like him we wouldn't live in such an amazingly advanced society.  Someday there will be a cure for Parkinson's disease, and that cure will be directly attributable to the hard work and sacrifice of a dedicated few that put the "greater good" ahead of their own desires.  So, here's to you, Dr. Stephen Crimmins.  Congratulations, and may you continue to experience the success that I know you richly deserve.

On a lighter note, I would like to point out that Raste managed to totally PWN me at the end of his doctoral defense.  I'll have to give you a little background first on the "cock punch" in order for it to make sense.  Somehow we got onto this running gag with the term "cock punch".  I think it originated as some joke with his buddies at the lab, but I honestly can't remember for sure how it got started.  But at some point we started trying to trick each other into openning e-mail attachments or following web links that actually led to an image of a cock punch, or sometimes even just embedding the term "cock punch" or abbreviated as "C.P." inside of a text document.  We got so bad about it that we never open an attachment or follow a web link from each other without first sending back an e-mail that says something to the effect of "If this is a CP, I am totally going to kick your ass."

So anyway, I'm sitting in a meeting room yesterday, watching Raste present his research in Powerpoint format, and finally we get to the end of the defense.  His last slide is a list of acknowledgments/thank-yous to his co-workers, committee members, family and friends.  I notice that my name is on there as "Tim Thomas C.P.".  At first I was so damn stupid about it that I was like "Huh, that is weird.  He gave me the C.P. suffix for being a computer programmer.  That is odd."  Normally I am not anywhere NEAR that dense, but it was such a formal and serious occasion that I would never have imagined that he would deliver the MOTHER OF ALL COCK PUNCHES to me in that setting.  But THAT is why it is perfect!  That is why I will NEVER be able to top that.  The sorry mother fucker cock punched me AT THE END OF HIS DOCTORAL DEFENSE.  How in the hell could I do him one better on that?  I'd have to get elected president and refer to him in my inauguration speech as "Dr. Stephen Crimmins CP" to get over on him with this.  So I think the CP game is going to have to be officially retired.  I know when I am beaten, and I'm willing to let this thing go now. 

Touche, Dr. Crimmins.  Touche.