dmanton300
Shared on Thu, 05/18/2006 - 08:14This seems like a place to vent. So here it is.
A few months ago I made contact with a girl I had a crush on at school. This was twenty years ago, the crush is gone, the pedestal demolished. At our school reunion a few years ago I finally admitted my crush to her, and we went our seperate ways. This girl was one of the definitely not in-crowd at school. She was spiky of temperament, and , well, basically not the kind of girl the popular guys have crushes on! I wasnt popular, so it was okay! But I knew she had *something* that caught my attention.
At this reunion I was gratified to realise shed become a beautiful woman. . .it appears I could see that all those years ago.
Flash forward to now. . .shes having a SHIT time in life (and has a background story I could never have guessed in a million years). Shes trying to cope with a divorce, 3 children and a warehouse full of baggage. And I want to be a friend. Nothing more, just want to be a friend. Shes started opening up to me, and has suddenly started trying to distance herself, telling me to forget her and get on with my life, that basically shes a big encumberance no-one should have to put up with. Ive tried to tell her that I have little invested in this past some time at a keyboard sharing thoughts. Shes scared of something, scared of me, scared of everything, lost and confused. But Im not 100% convinced she wants me to stop contacting her or that she wants to stop writing to me. Does she just need reassurance that Ill be here to listen? I cant do anymore than say "Ill be here" even just on the other end of an email (we live in seperate parts of the country, like I said, I have nothing great invested and nothing much to lose in real terms) can I?
I just think its so fucking wrong that this intelligent, beautiful, smart and oftimes funny girl thinks she has to do this alone and "just get on with it". Theres no real reason for me to care, but I do. My life will continue along its path with or without her, but Id rather it was with her friendship. Balls in her court, Ive assured that if she demands I leave her alone thats just what Ill do. But Ive asked that she doesnt. This is easy for me, my life has been, all things considered, pretty idylic. I have spare capacity to care for this girl from my past, and I want to be allowed to.
What to do? What to do? Suggestions on a postcard.
On a seperate note IstillwannaWii!
A few months ago I made contact with a girl I had a crush on at school. This was twenty years ago, the crush is gone, the pedestal demolished. At our school reunion a few years ago I finally admitted my crush to her, and we went our seperate ways. This girl was one of the definitely not in-crowd at school. She was spiky of temperament, and , well, basically not the kind of girl the popular guys have crushes on! I wasnt popular, so it was okay! But I knew she had *something* that caught my attention.
At this reunion I was gratified to realise shed become a beautiful woman. . .it appears I could see that all those years ago.
Flash forward to now. . .shes having a SHIT time in life (and has a background story I could never have guessed in a million years). Shes trying to cope with a divorce, 3 children and a warehouse full of baggage. And I want to be a friend. Nothing more, just want to be a friend. Shes started opening up to me, and has suddenly started trying to distance herself, telling me to forget her and get on with my life, that basically shes a big encumberance no-one should have to put up with. Ive tried to tell her that I have little invested in this past some time at a keyboard sharing thoughts. Shes scared of something, scared of me, scared of everything, lost and confused. But Im not 100% convinced she wants me to stop contacting her or that she wants to stop writing to me. Does she just need reassurance that Ill be here to listen? I cant do anymore than say "Ill be here" even just on the other end of an email (we live in seperate parts of the country, like I said, I have nothing great invested and nothing much to lose in real terms) can I?
I just think its so fucking wrong that this intelligent, beautiful, smart and oftimes funny girl thinks she has to do this alone and "just get on with it". Theres no real reason for me to care, but I do. My life will continue along its path with or without her, but Id rather it was with her friendship. Balls in her court, Ive assured that if she demands I leave her alone thats just what Ill do. But Ive asked that she doesnt. This is easy for me, my life has been, all things considered, pretty idylic. I have spare capacity to care for this girl from my past, and I want to be allowed to.
What to do? What to do? Suggestions on a postcard.
On a seperate note IstillwannaWii!
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Comments
Submitted by Gazzara on Thu, 05/18/2006 - 09:16
Submitted by Avril on Thu, 05/18/2006 - 10:20