The WoW Quitting Trend

Im seeing a trend here.

Look, you can't quit WoW.

Seriously, if you are shunning your family and friends for that extra play time...so what? A real friend will be there when you get back and understand that you have to kill 100 <Slimy Ooze Bulges> for that damn chain quest! Family? Hell...blood is thicker than bandwidth, so tell them to suck it up and do something without you for a change. Independence is a trait worth exploring!I

I hear people saying that Warcraft is interfering with work, responsibilities, and personal priorities. So what if you lose a silly job? Your toon will be LOADED with gold when you get to the Outlands. So what if you lose real life credibility with co-workers and superiors? You have guildmates that will tea bag you no matter how much revenue you lose your company by not showing up to work because of a Karazhan run. And the epic mount you called in sick for 5 days to grind out? 180% faster in-game productivity. Any earning company would appreciate that potential!

Losing sleep because you are staying up to the wee hours on a failing PUG raid? So what? The human body only requires a minimum of 3 hours sleep every 2 days for functionality. So get out of the bed and into the game and get that damn [Sword of Soul Sucking Blackness]!! You will have plenty of sleep when you are dead. Besides, you only know that when you do close your eyes...your dreams will revolve around some weird Warcraft oriented plotline anyway.

I hear alot of grumbling about WoW gamers and hygiene. I mean, really. How hard is it to wipe your pits and nuts with baby-wipes every 8 hours. I mean, you dont even have to get out of the chair. Just lift one ass cheek at a time...and then switch. You know, biologically speaking...body odor is supposed to attract women. It is laced with hormones and other attracting chemicals. Back in the day if you didnt stink of BO, you didnt get that cave-girl! And that cluster of energy drink cans, chinese food cartons, pizza boxes, and cheeseburger wrappers? Well at least it isn't clogging up a landfill! WoW gamers do care about the environment. We take direct responsibility and keep our trash concentrated in one small area.

In short, when you think that you have to quit because you are losing touch with real life...take a deep breath...close your eyes...and repeat the following mantra...

LESS QQ AND MORE PEW PEW!

Satirically,

Piratik

P.S. This is just a joke. I have much respect for those that unplug and get back to the RL. We all need breaks. I was just feeling smarmy this morning.

Yes....smarmy.