Random Email Spam

PHILLY GIRL

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties.

The first man had married a woman from Texas and told her that she was going to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple days, but on the third day he came home to a clean house and dishes washed and put away.

The second man had married a woman from Nebraska. He had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married a girl from Philadelphia He told her that her duties were to keep the house clean, dishes washed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, enough to fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher

Obama

Only Engineers or Designers will get this.

An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo shit in the other. He says to the waiter, "Me want coffee". The waiter says, "Sure chief, coming right up."

He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee, and the Indian drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket of shit, throws it into the air, blasts it with the shotgun and then walks out.

The next morning the Indian returns. He has a shotgun in one hand and a bucket of shit in the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, "Me want coffee."

 

West Indians in Canada
A Canadian Highway Patrolman pulled a car over and told the Guyanese driver that because he was wearing his seat belt he had just won $5,000 in the Province safety competition.

'What are you going to do with the money?' asked the policeman

'Well, I gonna get a driver's license,' he answered.

'Oh, don't listen to him,' yelled the Trini woman in the passenger's seat...'He's a smart ass when he drunk..'

This woke up the Bajan guy in the back seat, who took one look at the cop and moaned
'I knew we was not gonna get far in dis thief -in car.'

At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a Jamaican voice said in patois,
'Yow!, I man mek it crass di barder yet?

The Canadian Higway Patrolman smiled and handed the $5,000 cheque to the driver
'I always loved the island talk, but I could never understand it. Have a nice day.

The waiter says, "Whoa, Tonto. We're still cleaning up your mess from the last time you were here. What the heck was all that about, anyway?"

The Indian says, " Me in training for Sr. Pipe Designer

job, drink coffee, shoot the sh!t, and disappear for rest of day