In-laws?!?!?!

How do you get rid of a mother-in-law?

Can you relate? Read on.

So some back ground is needed to deal with my issue.  My mother-in-law ruins everything, literally.  She breaks shit and then denies breaking it.  She invites herself to my house with little warning and stays for 2-5 days at a time.  She is not an adult when it comes to the way she treats life and her responsibilities.

This woman has destroyed or broken something every time she stays in my house.  She has run over my mailbox, pop'ed her tire, and fuked up her quarter panel all because she doesn’t pay attention.  She did $3,000 worth of damage to my Honda after she decided it would be a good idea to open her car door and slam it into mine 3 times while trying to get out of her car.  She put a huge ass deep scratch in my oak dining room table on her last visit. 

My wife has tried to talk to her but every time she does my mother in law just starts to cry and says that my wife hates her and doesn’t want her around ect ect... My sister-in-law tries to talk to her as well and the same shit gets said.  My wife gets pissed every time I say I will deal with her.  I am banned from talking to this woman.  I don’t need my wife to be pissed at me for yelling at her mom, but I don’t know what its gunna take for her to get the point.

She almost destroyed my wedding, by upsetting my wife so bad that she almost called it off because of the shit her mom pulled.  Her mom played the "whoa is me" bull shit when she didn’t get what she wanted on our wedding day.  After I calmed my wife down and we married, we decided to move 2000 miles away from her.  While we were 2000 miles away, and she only visited 2 times in 6 years and I was able to go to a friend’s house during the time she was in town.  Now I don’t have money to go on vacation and I would miss Thanksgiving with my wife and kid if I get out of town. (BTW she decided to invite herself up for 5 days over the holidays) and no my wife doesn’t want her up for this time.

I don’t know what else to say.  I have been married for almost 7 yrs and for 6 of those years we lived 2000 miles away from her.  Until last year we moved 250 miles away and now she thinks she can come up whenever she feels like it, invade, destroy and leave!  Just like a freaking alien!!! *sigh*

Anyone got any tips to get rid of her?  I am a very strong individual and pride myself on taking care of my family.  The only kryptonite is my mother in law... and that is because my wife lets her do whatever she wants without consequence.

thx for listening.