Moving Woes

Lord I hate moving. I despise everything about it; the packing, the driving, the unpacking and the cleaning.

Those of you who don't know, I'll be moving from North Carolina back to Virginia in the next couple of weeks. I love North Carolina, but Asheville has become unbearable pricey in the past couple of years. It has always been an expensive place to live, but even more so now. If you live in a large city, you'll find that employers tend to up the pay scale to fit the spending trends of the area. Take California as an example. I have a friend who lives in Sonoma county and she says people who work in the front of house restaurant industry always made at least minimum wage...sometimes more, plus gratuity. This probably as something to do with the fact that housing is such a pain out there. Talking to her I've discovered that housing here in Asheville is on par with Sonoma. As a parrallel, restaurant front of house staff here get paid 2.18 cents an hour plus gratuity.

I'm no longer a bartender, but the wages are the same pretty much across the board. I've spoken to people who own homes here now and they say if they had to buy their houses now, as opposed to 10 years ago like they did, they would never be able to afford Asheville.

Many people around here room with others to help defray the housing cost, but I'm 30 years old, and i'll be damned if I ever have to have a room mate again, unless Jessica Alba wants a roomie, and we all know the liklihood of that. I went to a military college where i shared a 20ft square room with 5 other guys. Screw that.

So I'm, moving to Harrisonburg where i'll have the exact same job, but get paid considerably more, and my rent will be be cut in half. By moving I have given myself about a 5 thousand dollar raise a year.

But anyways, I hate moving. I just know my landlord is going to screw me on my deposit. I've never had one that has fully reembursed me a security deposit, and the fact he thinks my ceiling caving in is somehow my fault (read previous blog) does not bode well for me. I also hate packing. I am allergic to dust like no other. I keep my place reasonably clean because of this, but I am a guy after all. I don't clean under my bed, under the couch, under...well...pretty much everything. If you ever saw cartoons where someone sweeps something up and then places a rug over the pile of dust....that's me. So now me packing everything up has stirred up 3 years worth of dust. I feel like I'm in a pollen factory indoors...it is a lot like how I feel during the spring. Thank God for lortabs.

Not only is the packing a pain, renting a truck is a pain. The U-Haul joint claims they don't have the size truck I need, but they have the next size up. That's an extra 50 bucks shot. I know damn well they have the size truck I need. It is a damn U-Haul hub for the city. I think I'm going to switch to Penske's. Not only that, but the insurance for trucks costs more than the truck itself. I'm tempted to just drive the thing into a telephone pole after I unload my crap. You know, so I get my money's worth.

I won't be on live for a good month either. That'll drive me bat shit crazy because live is where I take out my frustrations by fragging some poor 9 year old. Oh well, i guess I'll just have to start hanging around elementary schools and punching young kids in the face for their lunch money. Maybe I'll get some satisfaction and get a free lunch. No such thing. My ass.

Then there is the cleaning. Cleaning the old place so I might get a dollar or 2 back, and cleaning the new place because everyone knows the people who lived there before you were disgusting, degenerate pigs. The new place is always frustrating because you'd think landlords would actually use the money they get from security deposits to hire a cleaning crew. No such luck. Ever.

I have decided to do some cool things though. When I moved in here, the previous tenet left me a package of frozen spinach in the freezer. I never tossed it because I get all sentimental when someone leaves me a gift. But who says I'm not a giving guy. I'll leave it for the new tenets with a note informing them of the history of said vegetable. I spread goodwill wherever I roam.

And then there is the driving in a truck that came off the assembly line prior to my birth. I'm surprised these trucks don't have a hole in the floor-boards so I can start and stop the truck a la Fred Flintstone. They might as well. The engines always sound like a mess of angry gerbils in a treadmill on steroids, and run about as effectively. Not to mention I'll be driving up and down various mountainsides. This means i'll have more than enough time to listen to the first radio ever produced that has the volume knob broken and the tuner set to either a pop country station or some AM christian evangelist station. When I moved here it was summer, and the A/c in the truck didn't work. It's freaking snowing outside now, so if my luck holds, the heater will either not work at all (which is my personal preference) or make the cab feel like a sauna. If the latter is the case I'll be force to drive with both windows cracked, confusing my nervous system...is it hot? is it cold? is it hot? is it cold? Fuck it, I'd rather be cold.

So, right now, I'm filled with dread at the prospect of moving. The upside is worth it though. At least that is what i keep telling myself.