The Sky Fell in My Kitchen

I've been kind of lax lately checking out the site. Work's been kicking my ass and i'm having a hard time getting into video games like normal but I still manage to get on Chromecrack and every once in a while, late at night. The last week has been a forced absence from gaming and visiting the site. My upstairs neighbor's fridge broke through my ceiling and landed on my fridge sometime last Monday. This bears repeating.

A refridgerator, belonging to my upstairs nieghbor, decided to migrate South from her kitchen, to mine...using the most direct route.

I returned home from work Monday evening in a pretty good mood, looking forward to a nice sandwich constructed with some great semolina bread made by the local bakery and maybe watching a little tube and playing some Chromehounds. I went directly to my kitchen, and tried to flick onthe light, but it wouldn't turn on. I hit the hall light thinking the bulb must have gone out.

It went out alright. The light fixture was laying in a crumpled, pathetic heap on the floor along with a ton of ceiling sheet rock, some rotted out wood I guess used to be the hardwood floor of my kindly upstairs neighbor. In addition her fridge was attempting to mate with mine, but had evidently already done the deed and was passed out without power still mounted with its base on miy box and leaning precariously forward, hovering above my poor light fixture. I fear the little fixture will be scarred for life. On a side note, my fridge was and is still operational. Gotta love GE.

But what really pissed me off was my seven dollar loaf of semolina bread was, I guess, used as the prophylactic in this refridgeration conjugal visit and was flattened between the two fridges. Some people might have looked at the site and thought, "Jesus, this is an incredible mess". My only thought was "Damn It!!!! My bread is fucked!" I really wanted that sandwich.

Anyways, next morning I took off work and went to my landlord's office and told him what happened. I could tell by the look on his face he thought I might have done it on purpose. He obviously did not understand the severity of the collapse. He also wondered if I was hurt in anyway...not out of any concern for me, but concern for his liability in this accident. We went back to my place with his "Handiman" and I proceeded to show him my new skylight.

The Handiman found the culprit for the mess soon enough. Seems that a rediculously slow leak from my upstairs friend's kitchen sink had saturated her floor, the sheet rock, and the main beams for so long, that the weight of her fat ass fridge filled with haagan daas (In her fridge's defense, it had recently committed to a fitness program where it would eat small meals during the day and jog three miles every morning...starting, unfortunately for it, and me, the following Tuesday.) could no longer be supported and it just fell through my ceiling.

My landlord , as North Carolina law states, had to put me, and my nieghbor up in another suitable residence until repairs had been made. By residence I believe NC law meant 4 walls, a bed, a TV that has HBO, and a resident crack whore living in the motel room next to you. If hell were a motel room, I was in it.

I moved back in late this past Sunday, and life hasn't changed much. Linda, my upstairs partner, is still pining for her old fridge, as is my refridgerator who feels it is her fault for how her lover died. I've tried explaing to her that it is not her fault she's so hawt. The dent in her head will be a constant reminder of her love for the icebox who's now in spare parts heaven.