DEADRISING? Bite my ASS!!! *SPOILER ALERT*

I did it. I beat Deadrising!!! FINALLY!!! Am I happy? Helllllll, yeah babeeeee....and then some.

So...I have slowly been making my way through the game. No, no...I don't mean slowly since 2005....I mean recently slowly. See, I quit this game. Years ago. I got so fed up...so frustrated I just quit it. It gathered dust on my game shelf but...it pissed me off. I have never had a game defeat me until...dun, dun, dunnnnnnn....this ONE. Playing this game - my ears would burn, my blood pressure would rise and while I am not a controller tosser....I think I was so hotly frustrated and angry sometimes you could have lit a candle by just holding the wick to my ass. And even though occasionally I would spy it out of the corner of my eye, I ignored it and let it gather more dust. Avoidence and denial are the two purest forms of cowardice. It still bugged me though...that game...that game that made me quit it. The hubby said "I'll take it to EB Games" as if getting the evil out of the house would free me from it. "No" I would say. No? It was the elephant in the room.

Then it bugged me when I came here and I confessed in 2old2play forum that I had been beaten by a game. Shame, shame. All these years and that damn game was still haunting me. That was when I reached for the box, slipped it off the shelf, blew off the dust, cracked open the case....and BY ALL THAT IS UNHOLY....dropped it into the box....again.

BUT!

THIS TIME I WON!!! Nanner, nanner, nah-nerrrrrrr. Spank my bottom, it'll only make me happier!!! I was suffering a bit...still. Needy victims ("Hold my hand" "Carry me" FRANK!!!") are the bane of the earth but...I saved a few. Sexy Isabella. I am a chick but I am thinking I'd do her. Save. Don't ever forget to save, save, save, save. Then, dash off on an errand only to discover that Boobied Agent went Zombie and ATE the victims I saved. Huh? Save. And Otis buggered off. Save. Dash for the helicopter and if that butt-hole pilot doesn't have an illegal flyer on board so he crashes and burns the bird. No fly out. Shit. Is that the end? Apparently not. Save. When does this end? Save. Then there is sexy Isabella....and her shopping list for the anti-zombie fix. Save. Um...okay....I am a girl and I did kinda enjoy the shopping for the ingredients part. Save. Then you have to get Queens...not the transexual, heavy makeup ones either...oh no....THAT would be tooooooo easy...no we have to gather bugs. Bugs! Fine. So, I whacked a few zombies with the car in the underground, give the fancy bugs to sexy Isabella, save and she mixes her brew and sticks Frankie boy with a needle and my-oh-my if we don't uncover reasons NOT to adopt....hmmm, should send that memo to Bradangelina. Save. Is that the end? Apparently not. Have to wander out through the tunnel and a gazillion zombies with a zombie repellent with 'hold-hands'-sexy-Isabella. Ooooo. Anyway, its easy but still an annoyed roadblock to the end. Get to the end of the tunnel, dammit....I have to carry sexy Isabella....fuck....all of sudden that voluptuous body looks like it weighs too many carbohydrates...but....I do it. I am snotty about it and verbally abuse the innocent TV with a snotfest tirade of foul language. SAVE. Have to steal a jeep....finally....get the girl and get outta town....sounds great. Is THAT the end? Apparently not. Oh no...of course not...and I think a manical laugh escapes me. There is a man and his tank not done with us yet. Sooooo, shoot the tank...ahhhhh, KILL the tank. YEAH. TAKE THAT F*CK'IN SHIT!!!! Is THAT the end? Apparently not. The man is not happy I broke his tank and decides he needs to beat my ass. After a few tries (I explain later) I sissy kick that sick-dick every chance I get and...is THAT the end? Apparently...yes....yes it is!!!! Holy shit!!!

So here are a few explanations. I played the game in short bursts. Waiting for the hubby to get ready to go somewhere....in the morning before work waiting for my hair to dry. Little hiccups here and there. I found if I played it too long my stress levels rose so I avoided that this second time around. The plan was not to let the game own me this time or drive me to another quitting. This time - I would win. I had fun doing Isabella's shopping list - I had to restart once but the second time I just fled from one to the other, snatching them and moving. I thought when I got back that I had already given Isabella 2 queens. Turns out I didn't. I had to nab all 10. I came close once then miserably got killed on my way back. No save...all 10 queens gone. So the next life I divided them into 2 lots of 5 each and it was easy. I ran the tunnel 5 times....because....I didn't realize there was a save on top of the final block. Yes...I felt very stupid. You can flame me...I deserve it for that oversight. I had to do the tank and Brock 3 times. The first time I was clueless. The second time I was trying to see if he had a way of moving and he kicked my ass something fierce, fed me to the zombies and finally snapped my neck. I was only a level 26 (half way to 27) and was depressed because I thought maybe I wouldn't have the skills required to beat him. But...he was weak and I was strong. The third time I just hung out. I didn't attack him. I stayed on the lower portion of the tank and when Mr. Macho just HAD to attack me, as he leapt down I kicked him. Took total, shameless advantage. Then I would leap up and wait...and when he leapt up...I kicked him. A chicken shit strategy and it worked.....quite quickly...before I knew it, it was over....really over.

I beat it. It was 6:30 this morning, my hubby doesn't get up the same time as me so I had to mute my victory dance, my victory screaming and hollaring. Sound was not required to know that I was AWESOMELY happy. Then Frank screams and I thought wtf? Some ending. I felt sorry for Isabella. After all that crap, I was okay with this ending. So he doesn't get the girl....he gets to eat the girl....doesn't he? I sat right to the end of the credits - right to thr very frigging end - where it was abruptly announced that Frank actually made it out of Willamette. Oh really? With evidence. Oh really? But the government covered everything up. Oh really?  And there is no proof you shouldn't adopt (cancel memo to Bradangelina) Oh really? And...no mention of Isabella (likely Frank was still picking bits of her from between his teeth - what? That drug wasn't meant to last forever) And you know what - I don't care - all I care is that I WON!!!

Yeah. Sweet is victory. SWEEEET!!!

Deadrising 2?....*gulp*....I think not....but....I am a gamer....so I just can't say "Never".