Why Game ESRB Ratings Don't Work

We've all seen them...planted so officially looking on the front of a game box. The Entertainment Software Rating Board stamp and rating of age appropriateness of the game contained therein.

And now on with my rant...um...vent...embitterment....oh whatever...

So I headed off to FanExpo in Toronto this past Sunday. It is an annual visitation for me. Don't ask me why, I just do it. I need a certain fill of Gaming, Sci-Fi, Anime, Manga, Horror and Comic book fellowship and this is it. The BIG thing in gaming this year was of course 3D gaming. BIG. It was everywhere. Which was cool with this gamer chick. 

Microsoft had a booth - of course - and this year is was a pretty decent  booth actually. They were offering demos of the upcoming GoW 3 and Halo: Anniversary (remake of Halo: Combat Evolved). Oh wow.  I had to wipe drool off my chin, seriously. They had a tent set up, looked a desert camo set up and inside several TVs and one side was Gears of War and the other Halo. Yeah...now I got you drooling. Well mop up and listen up.  

Now...here is where I get pissy. Gears of War is M rated. I think Halo Anniversary has been assigned an M rating too. So....what is with all the 7 to 12 years olds cluttering up the line up, Microsoft? Why oh why are they allowed to make bad lineups worse when they shouldn't be playing this game in the first place? So I glimpse in the tent and sure enough...there are the Timmies, controllers in hand while Mummy or Daddy is holding their stuff or worse....Mommy or Daddy just aren't anywhere to be seen because they are off somewhere doing their own thing. Funny, the spooled trailer at the entrance keeps getting to a point where I know for a fact GoW flashed an "ESRB Rated M, for Mature, 17+" over and over again and yet Timmie parents and the crew minding the Microsoft tent ignored it and let these kiddies play.

*snort*

Thanks Microsoft. Thanks alot for NOT training your staff to say "Frig kid, you can't play this game, you're underage". AND telling parents "These games are not suitable for kids like your Timmy, oops, I mean children the age of your...um...kid" That way parents become informed and make an informed decision to let the kid control their life or control their kid. Um..yeah. 

Gamestop, EB Games, FutureShop, Best Buy, hell any consumer cannot sell to anyone under the ESRB rating. They get in big doodie-poo-poo if they do.

So how come Microsoft is allowed to let these same kids come in to play? How come they can expose these kids to these mature rated games? Microsoft, I have said it before and I will repeat it yet again...you are evil. I am forced to love you but you are an abusive boyfriend. 

Just seems some how wrong, doesn't it? It stuck in my craw actually. What is the point of ESRB ratings? Hello? The ESRB claims part of their mandate is (and I quote) "To empower consumers, especially parents, with the ability to make informed decisions about the computer and video games they choose for their families and to hold the computer and video game industry accountable for responsible marketing practices"

I think the staff at the Microsoft booth should have tried to support the ESRB rating on these games by either informing the parents and letting the parent say "What the frack, my kid can play that game, don't try to dictate to my Timmy" and/or telling Timmies they needed to get Mommy and/or Daddy before they would be allowed to play said demos or...and this would be a tough one for money-hungry Microsoft - put up a sign declaring that no one under the age of 17 (and you should provide proof or your sh*t outta luck) would be allowed to take the ride in support of ESRB Ratings. I think I heard Microsoft gulp.  Oh I know, I know, Microsoft isn't in the education business, its in the marketing make money business. 

ESRB ratings work, don't work. I think they could be more effective. I have to admit I would rather play a M rated game then an E most of the time. Even an M over a T if I am to be perfectly honest. As an adult I am using the rating in a way I don't think the ESRB intended. Indicate age appropriateness...yeah, I guess....but thing is most parents still just don't get it, or don't care...or I don't know what.  *shrug* 

So there it is My Peoples...my rant. 

On a different note...this is what I learned about 3D gaming at FanExpo. If it is a 2D game made to appear 3D, it isn't too awful bad. HOWEVER. If it is a 3D game and played in 3D...it is wicked bangin' sick (which is good) and you might just have to swallow throat bile because it can on occasion cause motion sickness. For example I was playing Prince of Persia in 3D and you know when he does all that beam swinging stuff...oh yeah...before you just watched him do all those epic moves...now you will feel it...and there will be a price. 

Oh...and William Shatner looks good in person...not smokin' hot kinda good...but pretty good for a Sci-Fi icon nontheless. 

Afterthought: I predict that because video games are blamed for so many human weaknesses and irresponsibilities that with 3D video gaming they will also be held responsible for heart attacks - likely because of some sexy in-game hottie NPC.  Remember - you heard it here first.