Cheeky Monkey's Dancing on My Face

I thought what if I were to introduce a new soda, I would call it barrel full of monkeys and it would be carbonated monkey brains and hibiscus.

Or maybe one called the Colonel Standard and it would be carbonated chicken stock.

Or maybe one called raw sewage made with lime jello and pork rinds covered in grape pop rocks.

Now I am drinking Diet Orange Crush and I feel like this low calorie orange soda naturally flavored with life is going to put 25 calories of zip into my step.