Cheese Whiz Corrupts

I am both amazed and disgusted by all the fluids and products my body produces, I really do feel like some sort of science project at times.

 

What happens if you drink a lot of blood?  I wonder if vampires are particularly flatulent.  I think this would make horror films much funnier.  I wonder if it would be stinky, I guess that would be a dead give-away… Har hat har…that’s my bad pun laugh.

 

You know what?  People are strange, I think if I were really strange I would put the nozzle of the cheese whiz up my nostril and spray whiz directly into my nasal cavity…I just want to really know it….because they say your sense of smell is 80% of how you taste.  I say let’s cut out the middle man and snort all our food.  It’s like running to the bathroom in the middle of dinner  at a restaurant laying down a line of mashed potatoes and going to town.  And when someone walks in and you got potatoes all over your face…it’ll probably be less embarrassing than coke because potatoes are legal and more socially acceptable.  I would recommend russets.

 

I would if they make coffee scented deodorant; I think it would be awesome smelling like a coffee shop all the time.  Room for cream and sugar please; I’ll take a skinny no whip mocha.  It would be the new café selection from Old Spice, smell like a cultured worldly pirate man.

 

Do you think alligators would like human bubble gum?  I think they do…maybe that’s what they think fat people are.