I cope by playing Electric Avenue on repeat and eating Grape Nerds.

Just like Captain Ahab my white whale apparently is my left femur: “That’s not a proper grammatical statement because you are implying that Captain Ahab’s white whale was also his left femur.” You say.

I say maybe that’s what the book was about.  Was it just not another metaphor for orthopedic surgery?

I say to the Lord, “You take my left knee, what’s next sugar too? You want me to taste your wrath of Type II Diabetes?!!!” I think the second coming of Christ and the apocalypse will strike with a shortage of affordable diabetic foot care! Be warned God will strike down all manufacturers of SPF 30 sun block! No more the days of the Hoverround or Life Lock or Lever 2000! If you fall and can’t get up, don’t, the Grim reaper has claimed his ticket at the proverbial meat counter, yeah and you’re the daily special.

Its justice for mankind’s abuse of web site based confidential communications with their hospitals and clinics for non-emergency medical questions. Do you really think your primary care physician cares that you can’t satisfy your wife or that your boom boom hurts or that you can’t touch your toes anymore over your ginormous beer belly? And why do you think the creator would care either?  They say the devil is in the details; well he’s definitely in a Twinkie and a six pack!

Chicken stroganoff, I can’t get my head around it.

Umami and toothpaste are not things I usually think of in the same way.

One last thing, the Pitch Black game show where people stumble around in the dark on SyFy for our entertainment, I watched a preview during the commercials while the wife and I watched Rise of the Zombies, which I might add was a terrible movie.  Tell me this how can zombies climb up the metal struts of the Golden gate bridge but not be able to figure out how to scale a seven foot chain linked fence, huh? Why dammit, why????????? Anyways let’s just say in the pitch black show, it would have been a lot more interesting if the guy was molesting the business end of the camel rather than the ornery but friendlier side.