Okay…Okay…okay

I have this urge to just peer over the bathroom stall wall and stare at the person on the other side.

Oatmeal ball fight…let’s make it sloppy!

If I was a unicorn, I bet I would have a lot of unicorn sex….you know like that sexy unicorn hobo down where the storm drain empties into lake, that’s where all the junkies get their drugs and their unicorn rides, that unicorn sure loves beer and cheap whiskey…I think that’s me; I’m a sexy hobo unicorn.

I am part of the sexy unicorn hobo society…it’s kind of the best kept secret…you know our biggest rivals are the Skulls.  They control money and power, we control rainbows and sun showers…our secret weapon is the Leprechaun. They are kind of the green berets of fairyland.

If I could make a shower gel it would be called Leprechaun Unicorn Lovechild and I would have a loofa on a stick.  The stick would be made out of imitation unicorn horn and the bristles would be bright red Leprechaun pubic hair (like a Brillo pad it is)…it’ll dig in your skin like Lava soap...it’ll clean you up and will always leave you 100% satisfied. On the package it will say: ”Get Hold of your lucky charms with this soap and you’ll always smell like a pot of gold and shine like a rainbow shower!”