Public Urination is kind of MY Thing

I took a walk today…7 miles…I thought it was going to be 5 but now it’s 7.  I think it would be a great magical power to be able to teleport your waste outside your body to somewhere else.  I can’t take it my teeth are floating and…SHAZAM…your pee is now next to that tree.  I can see it used as a weapon such as bladder exploding and other icky nefarious activities.

My work computer died today after being my buddy for 7 years…okay 7 miles…7 years…coincidence I think not.  I think I’ll have 7 beers tonight.  I’m sad to say Old English just doesn’t do it for me anymore not after my lobotomy.  Who knew that sticking a screwdriver up your nose would be bad?  I mean I was only trying to kill the spider.

 

I was at a bar once and the young lady next to me turned around and said: “Stop it.”  I replied with a “What?” and she rolled her eyes and turned around.  Its times like that I wished I carried an “I’m an idiot stamp” with me.

 

I feel like I am trying too hard. I feel like you just stopped reading…click…click…click…do the Russian roulette dance of love, isn’t that what they call dating nowadays.

 

I forgot to celebrate literacy week.  I prefer to celebrate myself every day.

 

I feel like Bio-ware has been taken over by physical determinists. I guess if you drink a lot of water you will pee, but if you drink vodka you will pee drunk.  Do you think Superman on a long flight through space, goes to the bathroom?  Does he squat down behind Neptune drop his tights and make asteroids?

 

Really the best part of the finale for Walking Dead this season was the cinematography…zombies love pretty leaves.