Sometimes I think why Free Radikal, why do you think about this stuff?

Yesterday’s post was named ‘Hungry Hungry Hippo Heart’ obviously a mashing of the Boss and my love of a childhood game, but no children my mind does not stop there.  I am a sincere lover of body humor.  Body humor may seem simple along with gross out humor.  However, when we look at the media of our pleasant nation we often see body humor go too far.  With that anecdotal tangent being stated, I thought: I wonder what a hungry hippo fart smells like? Or who was the first human being to be standing on the Serengeti watching the Wildebeests saunter by on their million mile trek when a hippo backed up behind them and ripped a jaw dropping flesh wiggling mind bending methane explosion that rivaled Krakatoa? Was that human being mentally scarred for life? Were they pleasantly surprised by a warm moist wind on the hot dry plain? Or were they just amused at how a giant animal snuck up behind them (or backed up) and let one loose right next to their head?

When you rip one and it’s just a healthy dry intestinal heave do you yell out at work: “Nothing but net!”? Or maybe “Swish!”?

So my mind doesn’t stop there, I think to myself if I committed some super inhumane crime and my punishment had to be cruel and unusual.  What if they said I had to be put in stocks, but they would park an animal with their hindquarters in front of my face and have them fart at my face 8 hours a day for a week, what animal would I pick to unleash this torture?  Better yet, they would bring out the wheel of torture by fart and I would get to spin it once a day to reveal my punishment. I’m sure one space would be reserved for a group of male teenagers who ate nothing but sausage, chili fries all day and drank Mountain Dew. I tell you the worst smelling bathroom in the world was the restrooms at the Milwaukee Convention Center when Gen-con was there.  There is absolutely something absurd about serving low quality fast food to the male of our species regardless of the age, especially when a carbonated beverage is involved.

One more thing about men, I think it’s not just me but why do I feel the urge to find the highest cliff I can and then pee off it.  It’s too bad that’s not an option at the Sears Tower.