Staring is the sincerest form of flattery.

I was sitting in a restaurant this weekend and as I saw three generations of a family pour in, I thought that this must be the tidal wave of the gene pool. I stood up and ran out so as not to get caught in its destructive path. I looked over my shoulder and like army ants young and old were clamoring over each other to scramble into seats at the banquet table in a writhing mass of flesh that would rival rioting protestors at a WTO conference.

This brought to mind our pure inconsideration of the world around us. We almost taunt our food and at times we are worse, we have no consideration at all for the millions upon billions of organisms that surround us in all directions. I’m sure when they all meet at the “We Hate the Humans” conference every year, the president of the organization stands up and says, “We know that humans are at the top of the food chain, but do they really have to flaunt it?”

I say flaunt it until the bunnies cry. I say jump around like an idiot with such disdain and admiration of the purest of insults such as the true disregard for anything but yourself. Yeah, you really could care less. You just sit there idling by while the death stomp of cattle slaughter progresses in an unrelenting fashion of hardcore beef snuff. I mean you order a steak rare, a veal steak and as it comes to your table you just throw it on the floor and grind it into the tile like some deranged homicidal tap dancer.

You put the flight by fear into Flipper, Bambi and Lassie. You dangle an empty collar and leash in front of a bored dog, you torment the cuddly hamster with a plastic ball and you often give the sad eyes to the homeless kittens at the humane society. You’re the kind of person who adopts a kitten at one shelter without euthanasia and then drops it off at a shelter that kills excess animals, who is the animal now? You are sick! Sick I say! Sick with envy of your own awesomeness!

I feel a bit dirty, but thats okay I'm no meat chowing ruthless bulldozing moral hamburger brain!