I hate these kinds of days.

Ya know...the kinda days that you try to avoid having to talk about stuff, but then end up talking about stuff.

I had alot of stuff built up about mine and julias relationship...how I felt, what I thought....and that I wasn't getting what I needed from the relationship. She talked a little bit. But not much. I just got the "I don't know" answer whenever I asked for input. I said I didn't know if we should just take a break and just be friends....or break it off completely or what. And I really don't know. All I know is that I love her.

I don't like making relationship choices without her involvement...because she's part of it as well. It takes two to tango.

I just pretty much said that I didn't know what to do...because it felt like we weren't going anywhere. She hasn't made any progress since she got her social security...I haven't made any progress finding a new place to live so we can move in together.

I was just really upset today when I talked to her....I hope that she understands where I was coming from...and that if I hurt her...I didn't mean to. Thats the last thing I wanted to do. But I needed to tell her what was going on from my point of view. I needed her to know how I felt.

She did say she knew she hadn't been there for me lately. But I think that was about all I managed to get out of her. Most of the time over the phone was dead silent.

I'm worried about her....and I love her a lot. And I don't wanna lose her.