Gatsu
Shared on Thu, 06/12/2008 - 08:32I hate being depressed. Although I dunno if I can really call it true depression. I'm not gonna list all the "symptoms" and try to get sympathy....its just me typing to type...to keep my mind occupied.
If its not depression...its at least a overall sense of unhappiness with myself. The past few days I've looked in the mirror and just stared...wondering who the hell was staring back at me. I've changed so much and I can't really say any of it is good.
High blood pressure....weight gain....
I guess Im really just disgusted with myself for not doing anything to better myself physically and mentally. I set my mind to do something...then I just don't do it. No rhyme or reason for it. It just never happens.
Whether its exercise, or trying to get up earlier, or sitting down to draw, write or whatever. I've come to a dead stop. And if something doesn't change soon, I'll be dead or in the hospital before I'm 28.
But whats sad is that I'm not scared. The nurse at my doctors office almost flipped out on me when she took my blood pressure. Just before I got meds for it. But I was like "meh whatever...."
Im not gonna say that I want this shit to happen...because of course I don't. But its like a huge part of me just doesn't give a shit.
Keep me in prayers guys & gals. Well...those who do. For those that don't just with me luck. I'm struggling with some of my personal demons and they are winning right now.
- Gatsu
If its not depression...its at least a overall sense of unhappiness with myself. The past few days I've looked in the mirror and just stared...wondering who the hell was staring back at me. I've changed so much and I can't really say any of it is good.
High blood pressure....weight gain....
I guess Im really just disgusted with myself for not doing anything to better myself physically and mentally. I set my mind to do something...then I just don't do it. No rhyme or reason for it. It just never happens.
Whether its exercise, or trying to get up earlier, or sitting down to draw, write or whatever. I've come to a dead stop. And if something doesn't change soon, I'll be dead or in the hospital before I'm 28.
But whats sad is that I'm not scared. The nurse at my doctors office almost flipped out on me when she took my blood pressure. Just before I got meds for it. But I was like "meh whatever...."
Im not gonna say that I want this shit to happen...because of course I don't. But its like a huge part of me just doesn't give a shit.
Keep me in prayers guys & gals. Well...those who do. For those that don't just with me luck. I'm struggling with some of my personal demons and they are winning right now.
- Gatsu
- Gatsu's blog
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Comments
Submitted by MikeJames on Thu, 06/12/2008 - 08:35
Submitted by Caesar on Thu, 06/12/2008 - 08:47
Submitted by Gatsu on Thu, 06/12/2008 - 08:54
Submitted by IamDank on Thu, 06/12/2008 - 09:05
Submitted by Gatsu on Thu, 06/12/2008 - 09:27
Submitted by BalekFekete on Thu, 06/12/2008 - 09:41
Submitted by deadite_99 on Thu, 06/12/2008 - 11:41
Submitted by Cynical_Hermit on Thu, 06/12/2008 - 17:29