Horse Bites and Girlfriend Fights

I went out to the stables early on Monday morning. I even beat Becky there and went back to the stalls to look at Chief and let him know his new best friend was there. He was eating and honestly couldn't care less that I was around. Becky got there and came back to where I was and everything started out as usual. I've been trying to ween myself of Becky's assistance with putting on the saddle and tack. So I did everything I could on my own aside from putting on his bit, which Becky did because he tends to hold his head up and yank his neck. She didn't feel comfortable letting me do that, which is understandable. So I finally got all of his equipment on (with a few checks from Becky) and walked him around the arena on foot a few rounds before hopping on his back. We walked around a little bit as Becky entered the arena with Cashmere. I felt that I had let Chief warm up enough and leaned forward, pushed his sides a little and asked him to trot. He did so without hesitation and I felt good.

Becky noticed and saw that my heels were not down in the stirrups. She went on about how important it was. I pulled my heel down and she said curtly "it's not down" I repositioned and she retorted "still not down" with this stern look. I finally got it in a position she was happy, and consciously made the effort to keep my heels down. I pulled Chief around the corner and tried to trot again, and halfway into it Becky told me to stop, and that she didn't feel comfortable with me trotting him when I can't keep my heels down. I had been watching her ride, and that's what I tried to emulate. She had her feet pointed outwards, and sometimes she didn't even have her feet in the stirrups at all. So when she said that, I was torn down a little and replied "well look at yourself".. I know that came out wrong, but I thought I got my point across that I was following her lead and I didn't see her heels down all the time. She looked away and said "I don't think this is such a good idea anymore" and rode off around the arena.

The rest of the time in the arena I just walked Chief around with my heels down, and my legs wrapped around his sides. I would look at Becky and she was purposely avoiding eye contact with me and keeping her distance from me when I rode near. She hopped off Cashmere and walked her into the stables so I hopped off of Chief and brought him in as well.

When taking the saddle and tack off, you have to strap them in with another set of facial harness equipment (edit: halter, thanks Devonsangel) so you have to be able to get the bit out of their mouth, and the reins while also getting this other harness on their head, otherwise they're not anchored to anything and they could potentially walk off. Well while I was trying to get his tack off, and get this harness on, Becky was walking Cashmere to the other side of the stables and washing her off.

I took off Chief's tack and thought he would stay still for a second for me to put this harness on so I could strap him in. Hell no.. he saw that he was free and started licking the side of one of the stalls. Then went into the stall and started eating the feed in the bucket. I tried to get the harness on his head while he ate, but his face was completely in the bucket. I pushed on his chest to get him to backup with no avail. I slapped his flank hard to get him to notice I didn't approve.. he didn't budge. This horse is 1500 lbs. or so, I cannot move him. I eventually get him out of that stall as he pushes into my arm and it scrapes down the side of the stall painfully. He wanders into the stall across the way and starts eating the food in the bucket there as well. All during this time Becky is hosing off her horse.

I'm trying to be a man and take care of the situation and take control, but this horse was not helping. Pushing on this horse is like trying to push on my Jeep in park.. he shifts a little but doesn't move. I lock myself in the stall with him and unhook the bucket so it hits the floor and he has to bend down to get to it. When he does he looks at me for a minute, and I finally get the harness on his head. I take a handful of the harness and get him strapped in outside the stall.

I have to admit, I was scared. I did not know if he was going to get upset with me and try and kick me, bite me again with more aggression. Maybe he would get spooked by me and run, hurt himself or me.. I didn't know. I didn't feel like I was in a good place at all. Becky brings Cashmere back to her stable and I'm tired and don't know the proper bathing techniques or any of that. I put Chief back in his stall and put the rest of the equipment up. Becky is putting some things up in the tack room and I ask her "so you're not talking to me anymore?" and she doesn't reply and walks out. She goes down to Cashmere's stall for awhile and then comes back and tells me she's leaving. I look at her and ask her "what?" in a tone that wasn't a question so much, as I was meaning her attitude and not asking for her to repeat herself. She of course repeats "I'm leaving" and walks out of the stables to the parking lot.

I sit down on the bench and stare down to Chief's stall and feel bad that he was confused, and also didn't get hosed down or brushed like he probably should have.. but I just didn't feel comfortable doing any of that after having such a hard time with him. I didn't feel safe at all. I got up off the bench and walked out to the parking lot where Becky was taking off her boots. I just stood there with my hands on my sides and watched her. She questioned me "what?" and I replied "that's what I asked you awhile ago.. what?" she went on to tell me she takes horse riding seriously, and she doesn't bring just anyone out to the stables with her. She said that it's a big part of her life and it always will be. That for me to get an attitude about it and not listen, was wrong. She felt that she was looking out for my safety first (rant: like leaving me to deal with a 1500 lb. animal for 10 minutes, wrestling with it and tearing my arm up on the side of a stall is safe, but I didn't mention it.. it felt counterproductive and a cheap blow). I replied that what I said was that I try and copy her, she's the only reference I have out there for doing something.. and I just think it was miscommunication. We argued for awhile about it, before she went back into the stables to get some water. I thought if I should just drive off as a way of letting her know I was upset, or should I stay and talk.. maybe I should just drop the ego and say I was sorry, regardless of how frustrated I was with the situation I was just in with Chief and how I felt justified in what I said because of observing her. I decided to stay and wait for her to come back.

When she did I said I was sorry for coming off the wrong way, and she said she was sorry for misunderstanding. We stood there for awhile in the hot sun, covered in sweat before I told her to go home. She meekly said okay and got in her car. I stood there and watched her and she told me to go home as well. I said I would and walked over to her and kissed her on the forehead. We drove off and left.