Crazy like a fox? No, just crazy.

So, one day I get a call from a person wanting to know if we have ever done any work with IP based security cameras. Sure, we have installed those at several businesses in the area along with DVRs to record the images, etc. Well, this very well mannered British woman had one installed in her home but the installers could not get it to work as advertised and she wanted to know if we could come help her out. She tells me that she has the cameras, cables, software, etc. all in a bag and she can bring it by for us  to inspect them. Huh? In a bag? I had visions of cameras being ripped out of sheet rock and dumped in a Wal-Mart sack. I tell her to run the stuff by.

One interesting aside to this story is the woman is British and I found it funny how that colored my perceptions of her. When I hear a British accent I always imagine The Queen of England, National Public Radio Announcers and General Montgomery: sane, cultured and upstanding people, and I tend to put those qualities into the person speaking. Why I don't think of Monty Python's Flying Circus, Jack The Ripper or Shaun of the Dead is a mystery, as the boys from the Flying Circus would certainly be more accurate in this case.

Anyhow, she shows up with her bag. It is full of Dlink wireless IP cameras and the associated software that came with them.  She then proceeds to tell us that her daughter in Dallas bought the cameras in order to remotely check on her mother as her mother has reported a history of break-ins.  Wow! A history of break-ins. I ask the nice lady what the police have told her about all this since it has happened more than once apparently.  She tells me that the police are powerless when it comes to catching her sneaky burgler. I ask her what they have taken from her home. Here's the first kicker - nothing. They just break in and randomly tear stuff up while she is gone during the day. That is really strange I think to myself.

Well, she leaves the stuff and we look it over. It won't work the way she wants it to but we can make it work. We call her and tell her that we can do it and what it will cost. She has us go out and set it up.

While there we discover that she has SEVERAL dogs that live with her and they stay in the house during the day guarding the house from the vandals. The lady has iron bars and gates on all her windows and doors. She has high end Medeco brand locks on all her doors and security gates. She tells us that the vandals pick those easily.  Oh really? Hmmmm.....

We get things set up and leave. A few days later she calls and tells us that there was another break in and that there is no video of the criminals. We go out and look over the footage. There are no missing frames from the video and no video of any trespassers. We ask the nice lady if she thinks the dogs might have done it. She is very sure that the dogs are not the problem.  Unable to help her we ask her to call us next time it happens as we are getting really curious now.

We call our local locksmith and start asking them about Medeco locks and are they pick proof. "Oh, I see you have met Mrs. (--------)!" the guy chuckles. It turns out that our locksmith had installed some Department of Defense rated locks for Mrs. Loonybin and he assures us that there is no way they are being picked. Some international jewel thief is not going to waste his time getting into her place just to tear up some pillows. Interesting.

We then call the sheriff (small towns are great) and before we even mention a name he knows EXACTLY who we are talking about. They go out there at least once every two weeks and never find any signs of forced entry, foot prints, or missing items. She's paranoid he assures us.

She eventually asks us to check the video cameras remotely every now and then to make sure they are working as she just knows that we will be able to catch the people in the act that are making her life miserable.

Weeks and weeks of nothing but her working in the kitchen or watching TV. Then we see it. The cause of all her trouble.