Not So Pretty In Pink

GIJoeBob

Shared on Mon, 01/22/2007 - 08:38
Last night my youngest son and I went out to dinner together. We were having a great time when a couple came in and was seated at a table next to us.  I guess you could describe the couple as "goth" if you had to go by their clothes, hair and various piercings hanging out of their faces, but what was the most noticeable was the girls shockingly pink hair. I think it ran on batteries is was so bright.

It was something like this:



Anyhow, since three year old boys are not known for their discretion, my little one proceeds to turn around in his chair and say "Daddy, her hair is funny!"  I hushed him but he did it a couple more times.

When it came time for us to leave, I went by their table and asked the couple if I could speak with them for a moment.  The man was cordial and asked me to continue. The woman was silent and looked on with contempt and intolerance.

I apologized for my child's silly hair comments and then asked my son if he liked his own hair. He told me he did. I asked him if he liked it if he liked me telling him that HIS hair was funny. Naturally he didn't. I then told him that the nice lady liked her pink hair as well and that I liked her pink hair and that it wasn't nice for him to make fun of her hair. I think only about 50% of that made it into his head, but I think he understood.

I thanked the couple for allowing me to impose and the man again was nice and said no problem. Again, the woman said nothing and scrunched up her nose like someone just farted at the table.

I just don't get it..

When you have pink hair, people and especially children are going to say something, you should expect it - and there I am trying to raise my children to be respectful of people with pink hair, you would think the woman would appreciate it. But no, she has to be a snob about it.

My thoughts are that she WANT'S  people to point and laugh at her. I think she has self-esteem issues.

What do you think?

Comments

Lunatik-ZX's picture
Submitted by Lunatik-ZX on Mon, 01/22/2007 - 08:43
when you need to be seen that much ... you just dont like to look at yourself enough
Devonsangel's picture
Submitted by Devonsangel on Mon, 01/22/2007 - 08:47
Truth! Why call attention to yourself if you don't want it? I believe in self expression, but not to the point where I couldn't defend myself with graciousness and honesty.
Jmarps's picture
Submitted by Jmarps on Mon, 01/22/2007 - 08:58
I often find that people who dress and appear "diffrently" are the ones who say that they, "Don't care what people think." And so often this is not the case. They seem to care the most...why else would they call attention to themselves with different hairstyles, clothing etc. Sounds like you did an excellent job with the apology and the explanation to your son.
Walladog's picture
Submitted by Walladog on Mon, 01/22/2007 - 09:10
You are a better parent than I. I have been in a similar situation. At Disneyland there was a young man with hair spiked out two feet from his head. My son asked why his hair was "boobytrapped". I told him that the man did not want to work so he wears his hair like that to let people know not to hire him.
Robbway's picture
Submitted by Robbway on Mon, 01/22/2007 - 09:21
When I shaved my head bald (which looked good, BTW) I had a couple of kids comment "that man has no hair," or whatever. If they know I heard, I smiled and said, "yes, it is!" I prefer when people speak the truth, especially on mundane things like appearance. Yet, you're teaching your kid "tact," another excellent lesson.
Twisted's picture
Submitted by Twisted on Mon, 01/22/2007 - 09:34
Well handled IMO. Who gives a shit what she felt? If youre gonna go out of your way to look different you gotta expect comments. I think you took great advantage of the situation to teach your kid some social etiquette, something many parents are failing to do. Kids at that age dont understand the effect of their words. Little lessons like that make for better people. She probably loves the attention but has to make a little show or she'd have to admit that fact. Next time tell her you just saw a monkey at the zoo with an ass the same color as her head.
GroovyElm's picture
Submitted by GroovyElm on Mon, 01/22/2007 - 09:56
I completely agree with Twisted. I think you took advantage of a great opportunity to teach your son a social lesson. Regarding the woman with pink hair, I guess she wanted to be different, but not so different that people would take note or comment. Makes no sense to me.
imcndn's picture
Submitted by imcndn on Mon, 01/22/2007 - 10:05
I think the lesson you taught your son was an excellent one... and a great way to do it as well. As for the pink hair girl... maybe she didn't speak any english... or very little. This may be crap if you overheard her speaking earlier. imcndn
UnwashedMass's picture
Submitted by UnwashedMass on Mon, 01/22/2007 - 13:36
I grew a big ass Fu Manchu moustache just for the reason of bringing attention. If you don't want the attention, don't put yourself out there. The girl was/is stupid to be so easily offended, but maybe your son wasn't the only one to learn a lesson that day.
blastchickbaby's picture
Submitted by blastchickbaby on Mon, 01/22/2007 - 19:14
You could be right on about the self esteem issues. I had a friend in high school who dressed in a very punk sort of fashion. It was the 80's, so you think that would be okay on some level with some fringe groups...but this is Iowa. He got overwhelmingly negative reactions. He would mope about the unfairness of it all, be angry at society's rejection of him and their closed mindedness, etc. But in reality, he had very low self esteem and never believed people could like him for who he was. So he dressed to give them something else to reject, and something else to focus on. They were rejecting his conscious decision to dress a certain way, as opposed to rejecting the self he didn't believe in and didn't think he could change. I fully believe that when people dress to get a reaction, they are doing to distract from something about themselves they don't believe in. Been guilty of it myself.
Gatsu's picture
Submitted by Gatsu on Sat, 01/27/2007 - 21:37
You did the right thing. Alot of people wouldnt have thought twice about it. But its good your teaching your kid to consider other peoples feelings. I'll be honest though if a kid ever said I looked funny I probably woulda just stared at him and said "your adopted" and went back to my meal. Im in that weird freak crowd. wear sunglasses all the time. love the dark stuff. wear all black 90% of the time. No piercing or tattoos but thats because Im a wuss. lol.
ladynightshade's picture
Submitted by ladynightshade on Tue, 01/23/2007 - 09:43
Lol, I totally feel you. My kids are fairly used to seeing tattoos, piercings, etc. because I have them, but other people's kids are always fascinated and I hear them say things all the time, or they'll stare or they say, "Mommy, where did she get those pictures on her chest?" And most parents act embarassed about it. Usually, I'll be the one to say something first. If I notice someone else's child staring i'll tell them, "Its okay to ask me about my pictures (that's what MY kids call them, lol)." I'll let them see them, answer all their questions about where they came from, why I got them, whatever they feel curious about. If the parents seem apologetic and embarassed, I tell them not to be. I always say, "You know, if I was worried about people staring or making comments, I wouldn't have done it." But that's just me. I'm perfectly comfortable with my decision to cover myself in tattoos and I knew going in that it would make some people curious, some people judge and some people laugh. I'm okay with that. But, I have no real issues with self-esteem either. I'm pretty happy with myself. But I think you did the right thing and I think you're right. This woman isn't dying her hair pink because she really likes it. She's dying her hair pink because she wants to be able to act offended when people stare. Some people are just like that, weirdo freaks lol :P

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