Recent Loss

Last week a great man joined his maker and god, a man that gave his baby daughter away at his recently deceased  wife's request.A man that I had the honor of calling Father-In-Law, and friend.He lived to be 76 years old, and beat odds the Drs always gave him when they said he had a short time to live.He always gave of himself to help others even if it meant he had to do without something.He always told his children to keep the peace in the family and goto church and give your life to Lord as he has.He always managed to find a way to church when his eyes started to fail him, and his lungs slowly gave out and collapsed on one side.You could always find him at the front of the church with his oxygen tank by his side and his bass guitar in his hands.He went from being a 220 lb man to 85 lbs over the years because his medicine was to expensive for him to buy at times to fight off infections.Sometimes his medicare would cover it but only if it was for short term use, but if it was long term and no generic version was available he would have to pay out of pocket.But it didn't bother him to much he would always say "God will provide for me to have it one way or another.", he was right.Somehow some one at his church would find out that he was having trouble paying his bills due to his medicine and his medical bills and every one would get together and have a benefit singing for him to help him out.But sometimes he would just turn around and pay some one else's bill for them or loan them the money they need to cover a check so it wouldn't bounce.

When his fight was over every one in his family wasn't crying right away, we were glad for him that he was no longer in any type of pain, he no longer had to gasp for a breathe that was always just out of reach for him to be comfortable.Even at the funeral home during the viewing no one cried every one talked about how good he looked.At how at peace he finally was, and about the big smile he had on face.From what I understand he had the same smile on his face when he passed away.I came to the conclusion he had his favorite food before he passed and the quite possibly the reason for it..........ice cream.He wasn't supposed to have any ice cream due to the fact that it would go directly to his lungs and cause them to fill up with fluid.

But the day of the funeral everyone wept for this great man, when they said their final goodbyes to him.The funeral director gave the family all the time in the world to say goodbye to him.My wife and I just stood there looking at him just excepting him to jump up and say something to us.I struggled very hard to hold back tears, to tell the truth his sons did to but in the end we all grouped together and cried on each others shoulders.

Right now I'm crying as I write this because I didn't want it to be true but also I didn't know what to say about him but the truth.I kinda of isolated myself from my family and friends, my wife and family understands why due to the fact this I don't handle this kinda of thing to good.All I do is surf the web and buy stuff from ebay, for my kids and myself.I don't really have any other way to pass the time that doesn't cause me to think about last week and the pain.I tried posting things in my clan forum letting every one there no what has been going on and another forum.

We had to take his handicapped daughter in our home also because no one else can take care of her.She is handling it better than I am for Gods sake, she just goes on with her life keeping herself busy by watching tv, working jig saw puzzles and listening to the radio.Where as I can't deal with any of it that well and trying to things to help my wife settle her dads estate.

I''m sorry but I can not continue this right now maybe I will go on about it later.

gop out......