The 27 top things you wish you could say at work.

1- I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
2- I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a fuck.
3- How about "never"? Is "never" good for you?
4- It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
5- I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
6- Ahhh, I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again.
7- You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
8- I'm already visualising the duct tape over your mouth.
9- The fact that no one understands you doensn't mean you're an artist.
10- Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
11- I will always cheris the initial misconceptions I had about you.
12- I don't know that your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
13- Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
14- I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
15- What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!?
16- I'm not being rude. you're just insignificant.
17- Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
18- It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
19- yes I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
20- No, my powers can only be used for good.
21- I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me.
22- You sound reasonable.....time to up my medication.
23- I'll try being nicer if you try being smarter.
24- I'm not out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
25- I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
26- Who me? I just wander from room to room.
27- My toys! My toys! i can't do this job without my toys.

Just for the record, I said a couple of them to my boss.....and I still have my job.....Gees it's fun when they just can't prove you wrong.