Freaky Friday

Today is Friday and Payday so lets do this! Friday = teh funneez for this blog. No debates, no arguing, no dead kittens on my front yard (damn kids), only the funny stuff. The best place to start is Yahoo Answers. For the 4 people on earth who don't know what that is I will fill you in. Yahoo answers is a board where users can post questions and then the community tries to provide a good answer. But with all things there is a chance of the random half-wit inquiry and of course hilarity ensues! Here are some of my favorites:

(My personalized reply in parenthesis)

* How can I stop my labrador from urinating and defecating on me while I'm sleeping? (Stop sleeping in the back yard.)

* Why is my girlfriend unhappy? I mean her dad died like a week ago and I thought she would get over it by now but she's being real emo about the whole thing. (Bitches be crazy dawg. I can't figure 'em out either)

* Should I have sex with my sister? (Is your sister Angelina Jolie by any chance? Then yes!)

* Is it ok to have sex while you are fishing? (With the fish or with your mate? Either way, hooks might become an issue.)

* Are boogers made from brain sweat? (Yes, yes they are. And farts are made from belly lint.)

* I get turned on by dogs. Is this cool? Y/N? (I get turned on by tattoos and goth chicks. Who I am to judge?)

* How do I stole 7 different passwords? (WTF? an illiterate haxxor?)

* Is it weird that my sister is 11 and poops her pants? (No, what's weird is that you have intimate knowledge of the contents of your sisters panties!)

* Do girls know that they have boobs? (I sure do!)

* How is babby formed? How girl get pragnent? (This is my favorite. You have to see the YouTube some guy made mocking this pitiful bastard.)

* Is my baby drinking my girlfriends blood? (What did you give birth to? Cthulu?)

* What's the best way to murder someone and get away with it? (Try using Martyrdom in a Hardcore COD match.)

* What is the best cleaning product for getting semen out of my cat's fur? (More semen of course!)

* What horse has the best tasting meat? (No clue, but I know what whores have the best tasting meat. $15 goes a long way in this economy.)

Ah yes, the youth of America and their quest for knowledge. My faith in our future is restored!

PS - My XBox 3shitty finally arrived at the repair center/frankensteins lab. Hopefully in 2-3 weeks I will be back in business. In the meantime me and my new 2O2R PS3 clan will be playing Killzone 2 all weekend. My new years resolution was to spend at least an hour a day meditating on my life, helping the homeless, giving food to stray cats, and fucking up Timmies........ 1 out of 4 ain't bad.