How not to start my summer

It is just my luck. As the summer really starts to open up the outdoors to my newly found obsissoin of fireworks, and I start really getting the hang of makeing stars. There is a firm snap back to reality. I had just found a home in making paper ball shell caseings and learning new ways to curse and smite inattimiate combinations of craft paper and wheat paste. when disaster strikes. There is no need for too much alarm, all my eyebrows and fingers are securly attached. No outbuildings have been burned to the ground, and as far as i know all the compasses still point north-ish. Normally the cause and effect in my current situation would have involved a tad too much liquor consumption, but sadly enugh this was in a sober state. As I glanced into my back yard, through my kitchen window that was obviously in need of some windex, I spotted my arch nemesis. The sneaky soulless creatures that lives to take advantage of all my hard work. Constantly mocking my fake great horned owl molded of plastic complete with sinsister looking eyes, yes my friends I am talking about the common brown squirrel. I have a large strawberry patch tucked into the front corner of my back yard, unfortunately they think I planted it all for them, and the sinister owl I mentioned earlier has done little to prevent this. It seams they like to knock him over on there way into their gifted strawberry patch, and defecate on him as they return from there feast. I would assume that they would be more satisfied if they would eat the whole berry, instead of just nibbling off a few bites here and there. But after all its there strawberry patch not mine right? with an attempt to turn the tides, and lay claim once again to my rightful territory, I have established a campaign to re-establish control. Granted this campaign is still in the start up phases of planning and it would seam that it might still need some tweeking.. After spying the obvious looking ring leader of the squirrel community, his rank and file given away by his eye patch, and peg leg, I decided to make my move. After collecting my compousuer and counting to three while cluching the door knob in hand, I flew out the back door. With in Secconds of my assult, he saw me and made a hasty attempt at retreate. I had decided to rush out Shoeless, only a old pair of Haynes socks between my feet and earth as I tore accrost the grass that was deffinatly in need of a good mowing. He zigged and I zagged, the final assult lay ahead as I ran up a dirt mound used for morter tube placement and other things that go boom, and leaped into the air. hahaha I was a squirl chaseing god I thought to my self, this will surely keep them at bay. with all squirrels now in hiding it was time for me to return to the ground and gloat at my superior skill and newly recaptured territory. while my Zigging, zagging, and leaping where all done with a skill set mostly reserved for gold medal Olympians, my landing was not. It would seam that on my way down I neglected to judge with any sort of accuracy where the ground really was. With Ground Level Discussed by the grass now probably close to a foot high, I landed stiffly on my left leg. With a good amount of forward motion still stored in my awesome leap, as i landed my knee was not as complacent as I had hoped it would be. i hit the ground after traveling over my knee and heard a few large cracks and pops, dismissed as just the branches I had left there a few months ago, giving way to my landing. Then I tried to get up.. No dice, shooting pains have a way of keeping just about everyone right where they are, this was no exception. After a Pride giving discussion with my girlfriend we decided the ER was probably a place we should go and visit. X-rays taken and one surgery later it is clear that i might need a new plan.. Grand total of 4 broken bones in my left knee and three torn ligaments later.. the squirrel has won this engagement.. but I will return...in 6-8 weeks