Tom Haverfoods

IamDank

Shared on Fri, 07/29/2011 - 13:51

My friend and I got high and watched some Parks and Recreation

Aziz Ansari plays a character Tom Haverford and comes up with the best food slang ever.

 

Apples = Teacher Candy

Crackers = Lame Cookies

English Muffins = Brit Bagels

Mountain Dew = Halo Powerup

Sprinkles = Rainbow Rice for Milky Ice

Combos = Dank Pretzels

Cannolis = Creamy Canoes, Cream-filled Criminals or Holy Holies

Pork Chops = Oink Steaks

Ice Cream = Milk on the Rocks

Espresso = Sippy Sippy Wake Wake

Meatball Subs = Sunken Battleships

Pork Rinds = Busta Rinds

Pork = Notorious P.I.G.

Gatorade = Better Faster Stronger Water

Celery = Calorie Placebo or Celery Duff or Celery Swank or Celery Clinton

Pizza = Gangsta Bread

Asparagus = Pee Cologne

Pickles = Hulk Wieners

BBQ Ribs = Porksicles

Mashed Potatoes = Stomach Spackle

Raisins = Old Ass Grapes

Grapes = Teenage Raisins

Coctail Wieners = Lil Bow Wows

Shrimp = Tiny Ass Lobster

Jumbo Shrimp = Biggie Smalls

Hot Wings = Lil' Flapperz

Water = Hot Ice

Selzter = Tickle Water

Funyuns = Stank Rings

Tofu = Nature Sponges

Milk = Cereal Sauce

Cheerios = Lil' Life Preservers

Honey = Bear Drool

Spoons = Scoop a Loops

Forks = Food Rakes

Grilled Cheese = Cheesy Flip Flips

Bacon = Kevin Bacon

Animal Crackers = Mini Mascots

Soup = Liquid Lunch

Guacamole = Mexican Mashed Potatoes, Gucci Mane or Guaca Guaca Flame

Doritos = Do Ri Ris

Nutella = Bust a Nut

Lasagna = Lazy Gaga

Gummy Bears = Chewy Cubs

Popcorn = Mini 'Fro's or Kernal Sanders

Fruit Loops = Proud Cheerios

Light Beer = Funky Soda

Root Beer = Super Water

Potato Skins = Spuds on the Half Shell

Chili Dogs = Cold Puppies

Muffins = Naked Cupcakes

Brussel Sprouts = Cabbage Patch Kids

40oz's = Malt Whitmans

Toast = Hard Bread

Ketchup = Kanye Blood

Dumplings = Lil' Surprises

Lemonade = LL Cool Ade

Leftovers = Deja Food

Biscuits = Butter Boats

Burgers = Moo Pies

Gum = Chew Chew Trains

Cookies = Tiny Ass Cakes

Cakes = Big Ass Cookies

Chips = Flat Fries

Oysters - Babymakers

Reese's Pieces = Alien Bait

Beer = Punky Brewsters

Desserts = 'Zerts

Entrees = Trey Treys

Sandwiches = Sammys, Sandoozles, or Adam Sandlers

Noodles – Long Ass Rice

Fried Chicken = Fry Fry Chikie Chik

Chicken Parm = Chikie Chikie Parm Parm

Chicken Catetorie = Chikie Catch

Eggs = Pre Birds or Future Birds

Tortillas = Bean Blankies

 

Have a great weekend 2o2p!

 

- Me

 

Comments

Anonymous's picture
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jonny12gauge's picture
Submitted by jonny12gauge on Fri, 07/29/2011 - 14:15
I love parks and rec and love his character!
doodirock's picture
Submitted by doodirock on Fri, 07/29/2011 - 15:31
Tom Haverford is my hero.
tigerb0tnate's picture
Submitted by tigerb0tnate on Fri, 07/29/2011 - 16:41
-Tiger
IamDank's picture
Submitted by IamDank on Fri, 07/29/2011 - 18:29
-Venom
YEM's picture
Submitted by YEM on Fri, 07/29/2011 - 19:49
Yes!
zombiekitten's picture
Submitted by zombiekitten on Sat, 07/30/2011 - 08:00
i had some proud cherios with ceral sauce for breakfast! sippy sippy wake wake still gets me everytime!
Vix_Sundown's picture
Submitted by Vix_Sundown on Sat, 07/30/2011 - 08:50
You know, that show is okay to watch even without recreational drugs. Although it may be only fitting considering the title, Parks and Recreation. I like Amy Poehler. But I still like The Office better than Parks and Rec.
IamDank's picture
Submitted by IamDank on Sat, 07/30/2011 - 12:49
agreed vix, totally

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