Ah JRPG women: stand the fuck up please

J-Cat

Shared on Wed, 03/25/2009 - 18:02

Playing Star Ocean 4. I loves me my JRPGs but FUCK! The women in JRPGs make me want to stick a pencil in my eyes and ears. Or rather in the eyes and ears of the designer and voice actress who came up with this crapola.

Srsly: the main female lead in Star Ocean talks to the guy by bending over, placing one hand on her hip, the other finger is waggling at him and head tilted to the side. She looks like a playful puppy that is going to piddle on the floor. Stand the fuck up. You are supposed ot be an officer.

It also bothers me that the main character is 18 and (SPOILER!) is Captain of his own future tech ship. Fuck off. 6 months earlier he wouldn't be able to enlist. Today he's running the whole show. I call bullshit. Older gamers unite! We won't stand for this ageism!!  Then again, I suppose it's just one of the rules of Anime: Never send a man to do a boy's job. We will get it done in half the time and twice the angst.  There is a kid who is supposed to be 6. Erica talks more intelligently than she does.

Ah Mass Effect. You have ruined me for RPGs. Now I expect quality story with decent mature characters. Sigh.  That being said it ain't all bad. If you like jrPGs it's worth a pick up. Stay tuned for the whole First Impressions thingie.

What else? Getting psyched for Lan, it's gonna be an odd state of affairs. So far LB has said that if my bewbs look like Charisma Carpenters' then expect to have him forceably removed from my hoobs by Sunday. Problem is I look EXACTLY like Ms Marvel... I think I'm screwed.  I need people to run interferance for me.  I plan to steal all of Caesar's Red Bull. He'll never suspect me. I'm FAR too innocent looking. Haha. It's a foolproof plan.

Comments

Mortaw's picture
Submitted by Mortaw on Wed, 03/25/2009 - 18:15
JRPG has gotin out of hand. They get younger and uglyer girls in each one that comes out. To me alot of them are just overrated dolls.
Lbsutke's picture
Submitted by Lbsutke on Wed, 03/25/2009 - 18:26
I RULE!!!
BATMANKM's picture
Submitted by BATMANKM on Wed, 03/25/2009 - 19:41
You go Ms Marvel!!!!!! :P- BAT
TDrag27's picture
Submitted by TDrag27 on Wed, 03/25/2009 - 20:02
J-Cat - You dazzle LB with your chest hams and I will pull a sneak attack on LB from behind and slap him in the face with the LAN dildo while Jeep Chick is filming. And then someone can write the LAN writeup for the front page with the best pic ever.
Maxxie's picture
Submitted by Maxxie on Wed, 03/25/2009 - 20:33
Love JRPGs but yes some of the "logic" fails horribly. The Chicago LAN sounds like ridiculous fun!
FatBastard's picture
Submitted by FatBastard on Wed, 03/25/2009 - 21:04
bewbz
Caduceus's picture
Submitted by Caduceus on Wed, 03/25/2009 - 21:34
JRPG women ~ JRPG guys Sometimes, it is hard to tell the difference.
LadyisRed's picture
Submitted by LadyisRed on Wed, 03/25/2009 - 22:41
I am a HUGE RPG fan, but JRPGs make me want to kick a puppy. And DARN IT! Why do tickets to chicago from portland have to cost so gosh darn much!
pearly_54's picture
Submitted by pearly_54 on Thu, 03/26/2009 - 06:35
Ahhh, the LAN and bewbs. Except for Tara's unfortunate experience, I found that it was definately look but don't touch. I think you will be safe with the rest of us to protect you. lol
He11vis's picture
Submitted by He11vis on Thu, 03/26/2009 - 15:29
For Rizzle My Nizzle, I jsut can't do the JRPG thing anymore. After Fallout 3 and Mass Effect I am done with 'em! *** except Final Fantasy (whenever it comes out)

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