Clans: Give n’ take in an on line community of adults

Something I wrote for 2o2flank and the main page:

EDIT: When I post, things have been cutting and pasting into odd places... be patient!

Clans: Give n' take in an on line community of adults

Gaming is fun, I truly love it, but I have a daughter, a husband that I love, and want to spend time with them. Then there is a pile of dirty laundry that I should spend time with, and, oh yeah, soon I am going back to work and I will be in a job I must spend time with.

So where does that leave my clan? I feel I must juggle all sorts of obligations to get my gaming time in. But when I think about it, here at 2old2play.com I don't think I'm alone.

First, let's look at the facts about 2o2play clans in general.

#1: They are primarily for passionate on-line gamers. 2old2play.com is an on-line community that consists of smaller on-line communities called clans; groups of like minded on-line gamers that want to get together and play. While this may seem obvious, let's look at what this implies. Members of a clan are a) more interested in gaming more than the average person, and b) they like on-line gaming and take it more seriously than the "casual" on-line gamers who may have 10 people on their FL.

There are exceptions to this rule. 2o2RPG for instance is comprised of people who enjoy RPGs, but there are so few good on line RPGs (not to be confused with MMOs) that the amount of on-line gaming that occurs in 2o2RPG is minimal. Nevertheless, 2o2RPG is a thriving community where they discuss the latest and greatest in the gaming genre of their choice. Again, even though they may never play together, they are still passionate about the games that they do play.

#2. They are for adults all over 25. Let's look at the minimum age of 25, what does this imply? Generally, it means that most people in 2old2play.com clans are past with certain milestones. Members are either finished with their education or continuing onto higher education. They have a career, or are in the process of looking for real work. Most people are either married, have been in long term relationships, or at least have talked to the opposite sex (or same sex, we don't discriminate) at some point past 10PM. People are thinking about, or have kids and grandkids. We all have responsibilities outside of gaming.

RL vs FL

When we look at the two above facts, we can see a push and pull. We all love gaming, enough to have sought out (and found) a community of like minded people who share this passion. On the other hand, we all have real life responsibilities; generally speaking the days of playing games until 3AM on a week night are largely past us. Our clans must come in second to our kids, or spouses, and sadly sometimes even our jobs.

While people talk often about a work/life balance, I would like to bring up the concept of a gaming/life balance and how each member of a clan can contribute to the overall well being of their clan.

Self Knowledge

As always, we must look inwards, before we can look outside ourselves. Ask yourself this: have I achieved my own gaming/life balance? Some people love gaming every single day for 5 hours; while others can only flip on the console once in a blue moon. Sometimes things come up in our lives that should take focus; a new baby, a new relationship, a new career, sickness of a loved one and so on. When these things enter into our lives, it can become difficult to balance the past time with which we are so passionate (gaming) and this new thing that has entered into our lives. Do you feel guilty about gaming? Does it impact relationships that are important to you? Or have you happily found a balance?

If you have a balance, congratulations. If not, now is the time to really ask yourself, what do I want out of gaming? Is it to make my life more enjoyable? If gaming takes over too much of my life, will it continue to be a positive influence? No. Okay: the trick is again, finding that balance.

Are you in the Right Place?

Does the clan you are in contribute to or respect your own definition of a gaming life balance? Is the clan too demanding? Not demanding enough? If your clan doesn't respect your definition of gaming life balance AND you have discussed it with your clan leader, perhaps it is time to find a new clan. There is nothing wrong with leaving a clan if it doesn't fit your needs. A clan is a relationship, it has to be right for both the clan and for the member.

There are so many clans, you will find the right fit. Curmudgeon Grudge is for parents, and they have no set game nights or times; the only thing they ask is that your post once in a while. The object of the clan is to have a full FL so that when you have a spare moment between diapers and report cards you can find someone with whom to game. Other clans are much more disciplined. The point is there is a clan that is right for you and your definition of a gaming/life balance.

Clan leaders: you would do well to be up front with new recruits, let them know what is expected from your people. Getting the right members is more important that getting warm bodies.

Clan Leader: How to Maintain Your Own Gaming/Life Balance

A clan leader has a thankless job, and a hard one. Clans can be quite demanding, but as all good executives can tell you, while it is difficult it is possible to maintain a work/life and in our case a gaming/life balance, it is possible. But how?

Ask for help. Be up front. People, generally speaking, love to help out, to feel important. Good companies know that the boss cannot do all the work, nor should they. The leader's job is to identify and develop people so that the group is self reliant. Ask clan members to host on certain nights of the week, or to be in charge of training for a game type or a map, or drills.

Roles that can help the clan do not even have to do with gaming per se. Tap into different types of people to do different jobs. I have been asked by one clan to not game, but to write essays such as this in order to start conversations within the clan, to elevate the discussion regarding gaming. Some people are fantastic at finding new and interesting information for their clan, others are great at posting funny threads or organizing clan events. One person cannot be expected to do all of this. Also, by asking people to do the job that they love, they feel more at home and are happier. When people are engaged, you can tap into their creativity. They get to run with something that they enjoy, and that is really why we are here.

Bottom Line

Gaming/life balance is important, and at 2old2play.com we have more than enough on our plates to make this difficult. Know your limitations, find the right clan, clan leader: ask for help and tap into the amazing talent within your team.

Gaming can be a joy, a stress reliever, and the most fun you have ever had. It's just finding that balance. Good luck.